FRIDAY AFTERNOON QUARTERBACK: NFL WEEK TWO

BY ADAM GREENE

Thursday night’s game put on display exactly why we can’t overact to anything from Week One, especially with no preseason games or scrimmages thanks to the ongoing global COVID-19 pandemic.

After playing like garbage against the Baltimore Ravens in their opener, the Cleveland Browns actually looked like an NFL team. Quarterback Baker Mayfield ratcheted down his normal five moronic plays per game to just one. Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt ran the ball down the Cincinnati Bengals’ throat and the first Battle of Ohio victory was claimed by Drew Carey’s favorite team.

Joe Burrow looked good too, finishing the day 37 of 61 for 316 yards, three touchdowns and no interceptions. I will say that there’s no way Cincy can win anything with Burrow throwing that much other than Offensive Rookie of the Year. I don’t think the team will feel like it’s much of a consolation prize if they go 3-13.

LOS ANGELES RAMS AT PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (+1, O/U: 45.5)

After the way these two teams looked last week, this would seem to be an easy pick. Not so fast. Doug Pederson is 2-0 against Sean McVay since they both took over has head coaches of their respective franchises and both of those Rams losses came at home. Still, Philly’s offensive line looked so bad, it’s hard to think the Rams’ front with Aaron Donald won’t be a significant issue. I say McVay gets over the hump. Rams 27, Eagles 13

CAROLINA PANTHERS AT TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (-8.5, O/U: 47.5)

In year’s past, you could always count on the angry Tom Brady bounce-back game to absolutely murder a team like the Panthers. If Brady had browned his bedsheets against, say, a team like the Peyton Manning-led Denver Broncos, he’d follow that up with a scorched earth performance against the New York Jets or Miami Dolphins. In fact, if that doesn’t happen here, there might be real reason to worry about Tompa Bay. Bucs 31, Panthers 16

DENVER BRONCOS AT PITTSBURGH STEELERS (-7.5, O/U: 40)

I’m not as impressed as the rest of NFL punditry by the Steelers victory over an overmatched New York Giants team. Mainly because New York will be overmatched every single week.  Steelers 24, Broncos 13

ATLANTA FALCONS AT DALLAS COWBOYS (-4.5, O/U: 53.5)

The Cowboys will have fans in the stands Sunday to witness their team possibly start 0-2 under new head coach Mike McCarthy. Old Falcons coach Dan Quinn, for the third year in a row, opened up with his team completely overmatched and unprepared, in spite of one of the best set of skill players in the league. Quinn should have used the extra life he got when Atlanta didn’t shoot him out the airlock to prepare for that game, considering he had every reason to believe he’d be unemployed. Now he must match wits with McCarthy to keep from going 0-2 himself, which would be a punchline in pretty much every other Dallas preview and pick this season. Cowboys 31, Falcons 27

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS AT NEW YORK JETS (+7, O/U: 41.5)

While the 49ers have only begun their Super Bowl hangover, for a week at least, the Jets will serve as four ibuprofen and a greasy egg sandwich. 49ers 23, Jets 13

BUFFALO BILLS AT MIAMI DOLPHINS (+5.5, O/U: 40.5)

Ryan Fitzpatrick gets the nod again as the Dolphins starting quarterback, so that line should stick. Josh Allen is coming off maybe his best game as a pro, but of course that’s easy to do when you play the Jets. There’s a reason why the Patriots easily dominated this division for two decades. Bills 34, Dolphins 16

MINNESOTA VIKINGS AT INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (-3, O/U: 48.5)

The Colts get a much-needed do-over, facing a defense that somehow de-aged Aaron Rodgers by about seven years. Colts 34, Vikings 23

DETROIT LIONS AT GREEN BAY PACKERS (-6.5, O/U: 49.5)

Speaking of Aaron Rodgers, after putting forth an MVP caliber performance on the road, he now gets to do it at home, in front of nobody. Which probably just feels like a regular game for the Lions. Packers 27, Lions 20

NEW YORK GIANTS AT CHICAGO BEARS (-5, O/U: 42)

If you’re anything like me, you’ve had this game circled since they released the NFL schedule back in the spring. Get those notepads ready for the upcoming 30 for 30 because we’re in for another classic Daniel Jones vs Mitchell Trubsky quarterback duel. Bears 23, Giants 16

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS AT TENNESSEE TITANS (-8, O/U: 43.5)

Gardner Minshew missed just one pass last week in the Jags’ victory over the Colts, earning him praise league-wide. Titans kicker Stephen Gostkowski missed three field goals and an extra point and had a free western barbecue thickburger coupon refused at Hardees. Titans 20, Jags 17

WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM AT ARIZONA CARDINALS (-7, O/U: 46.5)

The Washington Football Team shocked the world with their comeback from a 17-point deficit against the Philadelphia Eagles. The Cardinals, coming off a career day from DeAndre Hopkins, are a completely different bird. Cards 30, WFT 23

BALTIMORE RAVENS AT HOUSTON TEXANS (+7, O/U: 50)

If the Texans were coached by anyone other than Bill O’Brien, I might be tempted to take them. As I wrote in the opener, it’s easy to get mesmerized after Week One, even after a weird offseason, but stopping the Ravens takes a real strategic approach on defense. I’m not sure first-year defensive coordinator Anthony Weaver has the chops and I know O’Brien will be of no help at all. Ravens 23, Texans 20

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS AT LOS ANGELES CHARGERS (+8.5, O/U: 47)

Thanks to a missed field goal, the Chargers got to start the season out 1-0. With their schedule, they might not see another win for a month. Kansas City remains the class of the league and the only concern here is the line, -8.5. It’s easy to gear down and coast to a closer win when you’re on the road. Considering LA might not be able to score more than 17 points, it’s probably still a safe bet. Chiefs 38, Chargers 17

THIS WEEK

Straight up: 1-0

Against the spread: 1-0

LAST WEEK

Straight up: 11-5

Against the spread: 9-7

SEASON

Straight up: 11-5

Against the spread: 9-7

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