CRAZY NFL PARLAY: WEEK FIVE

BY ADAM GREENE

Just because we have some issues with the number of games we can be sure that will kick off in Week Five, that doesn’t keep us from working up a Crazy Parlay. In fact, thanks to the Odds Gods, we have a pretty spectacular selection with which to purchase our NFL betting lottery ticket.

As always, the trick to the Crazy NFL Parlay is to take an educated risk. We aren’t just lighting our cash on fire, though that might still be the end result. We’re striking a match and tossing it onto the money pile in hopes Criss Angel will morph it into fabulous cash and prizes.

Here’s what I’ve picked out for you this week:

Panthers +105

Rams -8.5

Cardinals -7.5

Eagles +265

Ravens -13

Dolphins +320

Vikings +265

Chargers +300

Yeah, you might be giving some of those the side eye right now, but let’s talk ourselves into it. Because that’s what we do.

First off, let’s look at the spreads. The Los Angeles Rams at -8.5 pays at +110 as they travel to Washington to take on the Football Team (it’s not getting any less ridiculous). Last week the Rams were double-digit favorites and won, but didn’t cover. This is their chance at a bounce back week and with Kyle Allen’s first start against the league’s best pass defense, they could cover this one with a final score of 20-10.

The Arizona Cardinals are coming off a two-game losing streak that has to be stuck in their literal craw. The New York Jets are starting Joe Flacco for the first time this season, which could go either way as far as their offensive production goes. But what we’re betting on here is the Cards’ offense coming back to life in a big way against an inferior opponent with very few starting level defenders on the other side of the field. Their -7.5 pays at +100.

As for the Baltimore Ravens, they’ve made a habit of covering when they’re facing a team they should blowout. While other squads can frustrate you by letting some jobber hang around, the Ravens go full Road Warriors, crash the ring, and pin the hapless losers with extreme prejudice. Baltimore’s -13 delivers at +105.

Truthfully, I’m very confident in these three lines and would suggest a separate parlay featuring them.

But, like Walter White on Breaking Bad, when it comes to the Crazy Parlay, we’re not in the money making business. We’re in the empire business. And how better to cruise that empire than in a 2019 29-foot Fleetwood Flair that sleeps four, has two slide outs and a king size bed?

It’s the moneyline bets that we need to look at. Would it be ridiculous if, once again, the Atlanta Falcons soiled their Batman bedsheets against the Carolina Panthers? They’re four-for-four on the year. The Pittsburgh Steelers are coming off a weird bye week that they couldn’t even use to rest because their game against the Tennessee Titans was moved to Week Seven. The Philadelphia Eagles just had a huge win over the defending NFC Champions and, regardless of their record, still have a solid roster. That could definitely happen.

The Miami Dolphins have played everyone relatively close this season and they’re facing a San Francisco 49ers team decimated by injuries with Jimmy Garoppolo making his first start in a month. The Minnesota Vikings and Seattle Seahawks could turn into a track meet, with whoever has the ball last claiming the victory.

As for the Los Angeles Chargers knocking off the New Orleans Saints? Justin Herbert has been officially handed the keys for the rest of the season. LA’s defense is stout and, regardless of their point total last week, there are plenty of questions surrounding what Drew Brees and the Saints are capable of this season. With Joey Bosa cuddling him up on every pass down, it might be considerably less than we expect. The Chargers have nearly pulled an upset in two of their last three games. They’re due.

And if all those hit, a $20 bet turns into $79,483.14 and you can hit the road in style in that Fleetwood RV, enjoying America in the safety of your own COVID-19-free bubble as you cruise the open road as God intended.

Follow our BetOnline Twitter account for the latest sports news and betting odds, and stay tuned on the Instagram feed for more good information too.