CRAZY NFL PARLAY: WEEK 15

BY ADAM GREENE

We’ve got three more weeks to hit a crazy, life altering parlay and it’s time to really make the most of it. We’ve come close in weeks past, but as the saying goes, close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and pre Maury Povich paternity test results.

Most of you, I’d guess, probably use my crazy parlays to create your own, far less insane parlays and that’s cool. I am here to entertain and if I’ve helped any of you make some money in the process, that’s even better. But I want you to listen to me this time because, frankly, this particular Crazy Parlay might just be my masterpiece.

Here’s what I brung you;

Texans +280

Falcons +230

Patriots +107

Bears +139

Cowboys +145

Eagles +225

Saints +139

Giants +235

Seahawks at Washington under 43

Jaguars at Ravens over 48

Jets at Rams under 43.5

If you’ve already read this week’s Friday Afternoon Quarterback, then you know that of these moneylines, the only one I like is the Chicago Bears beating the Minnesota Vikings. I have picked against all these other teams so even I need some convincing here.

The Houston Texans have the roster talent to upset the Indianapolis Colts and spoil their playoff positioning. I picked the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to beat the Atlanta Falcons and I haven’t picked a Falcons game right since Halloween. Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots could be like the Balrog in Lord of the Rings and take out the Miami Dolphins as they fall into the pit. The San Francisco 49ers are fielding a bunch of Fudrucker’s Grillmasters at this point and, considering that both Mike McCarthy and Mike Nolan drove SF into the ground before when they were coaches there, why not do it again coaching somewhere else?

Jalen Hurts makes the Philadelphia Eagles a significantly different opponent for the Arizona Cardinals and the New York Giants have hung with everyone they’ve played this season. The Cleveland Browns could come in with a hangover from Monday night’s epic game and on a short week to boot.

As for our totals, the Washington Football Team will be starting Dwayne Haskins against the Seattle Seahawks Sunday as Alex Smith is dealing with a calf injury. Gardner Minshew III can move the Jacksonville Jaguars offense, but more importantly, the Baltimore Ravens really like to run up the score when they get the chance to play an overmatched team. They might score 48 all on their own.

As for the New York Jets at Los Angeles Rams, there’s a good chance that New York will be completely shut out. I can’t imagine how they’ll score more than 10 points, including garbage time against LA’s reserves.

But here is why this particular Crazy Parlay is a work of art. Yes, the chances of all those events happening (mainly your dog moneylines) are slim. But they could. You could absolutely see those games going down exactly that way. If they do, a $5.30 bet pays off at $150,000.00. That’s right. 150K.

Normally here is where I’d toss out some kind of pie in the sky waste of money you could buy yourself with such cash, but we’re talking about $150,000. I’m pretty sure you’ll figure out what to do with it.

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