BAD BEATS: NFL WEEK 16

BY ADAM GREENE

I’ve got to admit, I’m still smarting after Sunday. This week was a blood bath and I know I wasn’t the only victim, but solidarity, in this case, doesn’t make it any better. We had stupid blowouts of games that should have been tighter. Tight games that should have been blowouts and upsets that will boggle the mind a year from now.

The New York Jets’ two week run here should be its own 30 for 30 some day. Parlays were picked off, survivor pools slaughtered and teasers were trashed.

We had a weekend of Bad Feelings, sure. I was the perfect Christmas NFL experience for 2020 to use as a crowbar upon our kneecaps. But we only had one game that could qualify for a Bad Beat, and it was a  contest that really mattered; Pittsburgh Steelers 28, Indianapolis Colts 24.

The Steelers entered the evening on a three-game losing streak that saw them tumble from the No. 1 seed to the No. 3 in the AFC. Where once the AFC North looked all but locked up, their stumble had opened a door for a Cleveland Browns team that looked hungry (though obviously not hungry enough).

The Indianapolis Colts were in a pitched battle with the Tennessee Titans for the AFC South. Whoever comes out on top of that division gets a home field playoff game. The team that doesn’t, depending on what happens with the Miami Dolphins, Baltimore Ravens and aforementioned Browns, might not even make the playoffs. This was a loss they could not afford.

And for a half, it looked like Indianapolis had it. Not only that, but if you laid your cash on Colts -1.5, you were feeling tremendous. You didn’t even need a field goal to rake in the cash. All you needed was, pretty much, any realistic straight up win. A one-point victory can happen, sure, but it’s so rare and Ryan Fitzpatrick was the quarterback of neither of these teams.

You felt relatively safe. Pittsburgh’s offense looked broken almost beyond repair and they entered halftime down 21-7.

So you started thinking. Now that Hawaii has lifted its 10-day quarantine, maybe now was the time to cash in those air miles and head to America’s own slice of paradise and escape the nest of plague rats you’ve found yourself living among. I currently reside in Tennessee so, yeah, I know the feeling.

As the third quarter opened, Indy rolled right down the field for a 10-play, 65 yard scoring drive capped by a 28 yard Rodrigo Blankenship field goal. Indianapolis led 24-7. What could go wrong?

Normally, this is where I tell you exactly what went wrong, but here is what was so insane about this game’s ending. Pittsburgh followed that drive with their own 10-play possession and ended it with exactly zero points. They ate up 4:22 of precious game time, down by 17, and got nothing out of it. That should have been it. And it would have been if, on their very next possession after a Colts three and out, they didn’t score on the first play from scrimmage, a 39-yard pass from Ben Roethlisberger to Diontae Johnson.

Another Indy three and out, another quick Steelers drive, this time just five plays as Roethlisberger hit Chase Claypool for the 26 yard touchdown. Now it was 24-21 and it had all that happened in the last three minutes of the third. There was an entire quarter left.

There are moments in our lives where we sense doom approaching and can do nothing to stop it. The Colts punted again on their next possession, all but surrendering a Pittsburgh score. The Steelers promptly took the generosity and, after 10 plays, JuJu Smith-Schuster was dancing in the end zone with a four-point lead.

With more than seven minutes to go in the game, there was still plenty of time for your fortunes to change. A four point lead meant the Colts would play for the TD, not the field goal, which would give you the point buffer you needed. Except they never got within smelling distance. Philip Rivers tossed a pick to end their next possession and their final drive ended on downs at the Steelers 33.

There would be no trip to Oahu for you. No strolling on the beaches of Maui or viewing the lava spouts on the rim of the Kilauea Volcano on the Big Island. You will be stuck at home, existing among morons who have somehow withstood the tyranny of “no shoes, no shirt, no service” for their entire lives, but feel as if wearing a mask during a once in a century pandemic is an affront to their freedoms.

Trust me. I feel you.

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