CRAZY NFL PARLAY: WEEK 5

BY ADAM GREENE

It’s football-mass eve and you know what that means, it’s time to put together our weekly Crazy NFL Parlay. It’s that magical time when we take a look at the odds, lines and totals on an NFL Sunday and Monday and use the cash we’d blow by trying the new Taco Bell rolled tacos and turning it into a Kawasaki Brut Force ATV.

If this your first foray into the Crazy NFL Parlay, here’s how it works. I peruse the game week in attempt to craft the perfect, but realistic, parlay result to maximize a minimal financial investment. You could invest in your sister’s vitamin Ponzi scheme or do this. This seems like more fun to me.

This isn’t randomly picking games. There is no dart throwing or blindfolds involved. Every single week surprising and downright shocking moments happen on the football field and we are trying to harness that to fill our virtual wallets with filthy lucre. Entropy is the universe’s natural state and since we live in a capitalistic society, we should try to make some money on that.

Here is what I have had selected for you this week;

Houston Texans +115

Indianapolis Colts +125

Pittsburgh Steelers +180

Arizona Cardinals +145

Los Angeles Rams +175

New York Jets +117

Minnesota Vikings +162

Dallas Cowboys +165

As usual, if you’ve already read my Friday Afternoon Quarterback, Sunday Night Football and Monday Night Football previews, then you know I like quite a few of these “upsets” with no coaxing.

I feel that the Texans can stay hot against an overrated Atlanta Falcons team. I like the Colts to upend the Tennessee Titans and hasten the end of Ryan Tannehill’s tenure there. I can see the Cardinals pulling off a shocker against the Cincinnati Bengals with a banged up Joe Burrow and dysfunctional offense. And, lastly, I feel as if the Kansas City Chiefs have flown too close to the sun, played sloppy and could pay for it against a Vikings squad much better than their record.

It’s the rest of the games we have to talk ourselves into, so let’s get cracking.

Yes, the Steelers offense is historically bad, but with the Baltimore Ravens coming to Accrosheinz Field, it’s just the kind of win Mike Tomlin regularly pulls off to keep a season alive.

Cooper Kupp should be back for the Rams, lining up across from Puca Nakua for the first time. The Eagles too have nearly faceplanted a couple of times this year and it’s a long West Coast trip for them.

Finally, the Cowboys have lost two straight playoff games to the San Francisco 49ers and Mike McCarthy is 0-4 in the postseason against San Fran. But Dan Quinn has stifled that offense every time he’s faced them. All Dallas has to do is actually score some points here.

A wining $10 parlay bet on these eight moneylines pays $13,739.43.

Follow Adam Greene on Twitter @TheFirstMan.

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