FRIDAY AFTERNOON QUARTERBACK: NFL WEEK 15

BY ADAM GREENE

There was only one thing shocking about seeing that the Los Angeles Chargers had fired head coach Brandon Staley and it’s that I didn’t see that news as soon as I woke up Friday morning. I was then reminded by a friend that lunchtime, when the Staley news broke, was the morning on the west coast and then everything made perfect sense.

The Chargers, of course, took one of the most embarrassing losses in NFL history Thursday night, falling 63-21 to the Las Vegas Raiders led by interim head coach Antonio Pierce and rookie quarterback Aidan O’Connell.

There was another shellacking delivered this season to rival the TNF debacle. That is, of course, the Miami Dolphins’ 70-20 drubbing of the Denver Broncos. I would argue that what we watched happen last night was significantly worse. Why? Because, first, Miami is a good team. Possibly an elite team and one of the AFC’s legitimate Super Bowl contenders. The Raiders? Not even close to that. They’re trotting out an interim coach that’ll be unemployed in a month and playing a quarterback that will be No. 2 on their depth chart next season at best. Not only that, but the Broncos have improved significantly since that disastrous Sunday, have lost only three games since, and are firmly in the playoff race after a 1-5 start.

I firmly believe that if Justin Herbert hadn’t broken his finger last week, there’s a good chance Staley would have been out Monday morning. But, you know, maybe the short week would have kept him employed regardless. Either way, he can really enjoy his weekend now. Get an early jump on some Christmas shopping. With just one year left on his original four-year contract, Los Angeles isn’t out a particularly large sum on the buyout. But , that’s still probably something like $4 million, so Staley can definitely make it rain under the Christmas tree before hitting the job search in February.

Staley’s head coaching career wraps with a record of 24-25 counting one playoff loss last season. In spite of the fact that the Chargers defense was ass pretty much the whole time he was there, he’ll likely land another job as a defensive coordinator, especially if the Los Angeles Rams, his former employer that he led to a No. 1 overall defensive ranking in 2020, lose Raheem Morris to a head coaching job. He would also be a potential replacement for Dan Quinn if he exits the Dallas Cowboys.

“These decisions are never easy, nor are they something I take lightly — especially when you consider the number of people they impact,” Chargers owner Dean Spanos said in a statement. “We are clearly not where we expect to be, however, and we need new vision. Doing nothing in the name of continuity was not a risk I was willing to take. Our fans have stood strong through so many ups and downs and close games. They deserve more. Frankly, they’ve earned more.”

It’s hard to argue with that sentiment until you realize that Spanos has “owned” the team since his dad Alex gave it to him in 1994 and he’s run through nine head coaches in that span, hiring losers like Kevin Gilbride, June Jones, Mike Riley, Mike McCoy, Norv Turner, Anthony Lynn and Staley in the process. His one good hire and most successful head coach, Marty Schottenheimer, Spanos ran out of town to replace with Turner in 2007.

This is going to be an attractive job to a potential head coach. I’d argue the best one that could likely be open in 2024. Spanos should probably stay out of the hiring decision.

Hey, we still have 10 games happening in the mid-day hours of Sunday with plenty of other bad head coaches showing every reason they should join Staley in the breadline. Let’s pick them.

ATLANTA FALCONS AT CAROLINA PANTHERS (+3, O/U: 33.5)

A week after the Falcons fall out of playoff contention, they have the chance to get right thanks to having Carolina in their mind. And, of course, on the schedule. For some reason every NFC South team that plays the Panthers has a chance to take over the division. Weird how that works out. Considering the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are playing the Green Bay Packers in Lambeau and the New Orleans Saints host a suddenly hot New York Giants team, I’m confident that Arthur Smith will be stroking his crustache in satisfaction after Steve Kornacki puts together the playoff board on the Sunday Night Football pregame. Falcons 27, Panthers 13

CHICAGO BEARS AT CLEVELAND BROWNS (-3, O/U: 38)

I’ve always been a Joe Flacco advocate and never understood any of the hate the dude got. Considering every time he’s in an offensive system run by a professional NFL-level play caller he’s succeeded seems to validate that. And, I feel like it’s beyond dispute that Flacco is one of the best postseason quarterbacks of his generation, outdueling both Peyton Manning and Tom Brady multiple times in their primes. This Cleveland squad is probably making the playoffs and is way more dangerous with Flacco under center this year than even if Deshaun Watson was still playing and getting massages on the reg. As for Chicago? It’s a weird time for them. They have a lot of choices to make this coming offseason at quarterback and head coach that have gotten more complicated with every victory. I don’t think they’re going to get one this week. Browns 24, Bears 20

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS AT GREEN BAY PACKERS (-3.5, O/U: 42.5)

Can the Bucs beat the Pack in Lambeau? Sure. They have tons of offensive talent and, this isn’t a knock on either guy, Baker Mayfield and Jordan Love are probably a push at quarterback. Green Bay has the better defense and considering their playing on their own icy hellscape and Tampa is from the warm strip club capital of the world, that’ll probably be an advantage that shows up on the field. Packers 23, Buccaneers 20

HOUSTON TEXANS AT TENNESSEE TITANS (-3, O/U: 37)

We’re in the home stretch of the season and these games count a lot more than those played in September. Both Houston and Tennessee are right outside the AFC playoff bracket. A Texans loss here doesn’t end their chances to land a Wild Card spot, or even an opportunity to steal the AFC South if the Jacksonville Jaguars stumble and Trevor Lawrence’s injury lingers. But the Titans? They’re probably realistically, if not mathematically, eliminated with a loss. So, I hope they all have solid mancaves with which to watch the postseason unfold in Nashville. Texans 23, Titans 16

NEW YORK GIANTS AT NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (-5, O/U: 39)

Brian Daboll has proven for the second year in a row that the Giants hired the right guy to run their team. You can’t blame him negatively for getting the most out of Daniel Jones in a contract year anymore than you can blame him for what he’s doing right now with rookie undrafted free agent Tommy DeVito. New York has won three straight, including a monster victory over the Packers last week that could resonate all throughout the playoff push. New Orleans is playing out the stretch as Dennis Allen’s likely coaching his final games for the team before landing as a defensive assistant in Denver next season. The Saints have lost three of their last four with their only victory coming over the Panthers, so this line is a real mystery. I feel as if NY will solve it. Giants 23, Saints 17

NEW YORK JETS AT MIAMI DOLPHINS (-9.5, O/U: 36.5)

For those of us who’ve been waiting for the Jets to be officially out of the playoff race, that day has finally come. Zach Wilson, with absolutely no pressure on his shoulders, played the best game of his life last week to get New York’s potential playoff berth back on mathematical track. Now that the pressure is back on, look for a complete meltdown for your gram-gram’s favorite NFL player. Miami is coming off a dumb, bad loss and will be looking to take it out the Jets. Dolphins 34, Jets 19

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS AT NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (+9, O/U: 37)

It’s a weird time for Kansas City, but only because of the brand they’ve created. The Chiefs have dropped four of their last six games and all those losses are to teams that are currently in their respective conference’s playoff brackets or right outside of it. This should not be a great mystery as years of offensive attrition, some wounds even self-inflicted, have finally taken their toll on the team. It doesn’t matter how good Patrick Mahomes is when he’s firing passes to a bunch of DoorDash drivers and Fudrucker’s Grillmasters. While Travis Kelce can obviously try to do everything, and sometimes does, when he can’t some other player must step up. It’s not happening this year and likely won’t. As for the Pats, there’s been a ton of “Bill Belichick is getting forced out” news that the organization doesn’t seem particularly interested in debunking in spite of the former players from those teams, guys like Rob Gronkowski and Julian Edleman, calling BS on the whole story. Here’s what I do know about Belichick. He’s probably the best defensive coach in history and even as the team has hit the skids, the defense has continued to play outstanding football. It would be the perfect Super Genius send-off for him to win out and finish 7-10, costing the new Patriots regime any shot at the upcoming draft’s top quarterbacks and basically burn it all down as he leaves. It’s tough for me to pick KC to lose this game, but I think it’ll be closer than nine points. Chiefs 23, Patriots 17

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS AT ARIZONA CARDINALS (+12, O/U: 48.5)

Here’s an interesting tidbit. Kyler Murray has not faced off against the 49ers since Oct. 10, 2021 where he led the Cards to a 17-10 victory that ultimately gave Arizona the season sweep of the Niners that season. Both teams made the playoffs and both teams exited those same playoffs after losing to the Los Angeles Rams. What does that mean here? It’s hard to say, as Murray was dueling Trey Lance, the guy Brock Purdy ran out of town in that game. San Fran should win this one, but I’m not sure about the 12 points. It’s on the road, Murray is playing to keep his job in Arizona. The Niners have blown out the Cards the last three times they faced off, all without Murray. Purdy, obviously, has never lost to Arizona as a starter. I don’t think he will here but I do feel as if the two touchdown spread won’t be reached here and no one, outside of bettors, will care. 49ers 31, Cardinals 21

WASHINGTON COMMANDERS AT LOS ANGELES RAMS (-6.5, O/U: 51)

Alright, here we are. Los Angeles faces a streak of three must-win games if they want to make the playoffs. That stint opens with the Commanders, a squad looking to tank all year and one that’s been only modestly successful at it. Ron Rivera is sleepwalking through the season and while Eric Bieniemy hasn’t been bad as an offensive coordinator and play caller, he’s not done what he really wanted to do, prove he’s an NFL head coach. That doesn’t mean he won’t get a shot. A franchise like the Panthers is going to have to cast a wide net. Either way, if Sean McVay and the Rams want to make the playoffs, they have to at least win nine games. This one should be victory No. 7. Rams 38, Commanders 16

DALLAS COWBOYS AT BUFFALO BILLS (-2, O/U: 50)

Mike McCarthy has spent all week enjoying the smell of his own farts after a dominating victory over the suddenly mortal Philadelphia Eagles. Which is quite a feat, since usually nothing can clear a room faster than McCarthy effluvia. So, I have good news for everyone that has to work the Dallas head coach after a trip to the Golden Corral, the Cowboys are dropping one. They are due and few teams are playing better, and for more, than Buffalo. Bills 31, Cowboys 27

Last week

Straight up: 6-9

Against the spread: 6-9

Season

Straight up: 102-64

Against the spread: 92-74

Follow Adam Greene on Twitter @TheFirstMan.

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