WHAT WE LEARNED: NFL SUPER WILD CARD WEEKEND

BY ADAM GREENE

We had a full weekend of playoff doubleheaders thanks to a snowstorm blasting the entire East Coast. Let’s talk about what happened.

EARLY DIVISIONAL ROUND LINES & TOTALS

SATURDAY

Houston Texans at Baltimore Ravens (-9, O/U: 44)

Green Bay Packers at San Francisco 49ers (-9.5, O/U: 50.5)

SUNDAY

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Detroit Lions (-6.5, O/U: 48.5)

Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills (-2.5, O/U: 45.5)

SATURDAY GAMES

HOUSTON TEXANS 45, CLEVELAND BROWNS 14

Our playoffs opened with the first of two shocking beat downs delivered over what turned out to be, outside of the Sunday Night game, a pretty lackluster Super Wild Card Weekend. The Texans completely dominated the game from the opening whistle on both sides of the ball. Not only did DeMeco Ryans solidify his position as the NFL’s Coach of the Year, quarterback CJ Stroud did the same for Offensive Rookie of the Year (Though I’m pretty sure all the votes are cast by Week 18, so it didn’t matter, but if you cast votes for those guys, you’re feeling good). What happened Saturday was supposed to be a season away, but thanks to playing the AFC West and injuries (and I know that’s a lot of caveats), they got it this season and, most importantly, they won their game. A game in which they were home underdogs. And you must appreciate that, as the Texans own the Browns’ first round pick as part of the Deshaun Watson trade and by beating Cleveland, they improved their own draft position. As for Houston’s own first rounder? They traded it to the Arizona Cardinals for the right to draft Will Anderson at No. 3 last April. Arizona likely thought that pick would be in the Top 10. If the draft was held today, it’d be No. 27.

As for the Browns, there’s not a lot of positives here. Head coach Kevin Stefanski already has a playoff win with Baker Mayfield a few seasons ago. If anything, this run did solidify the idea that this team needs a franchise quarterback. We all got into the Joe Flacco story as the season came to close and the idea of Flacco turning back into the playoff assassin he used to be was one that I fell for myself. It didn’t happen. This was legitimately his first loss in the Wild Card Round and he remains tied with Tom Brady for the most road playoff wins in a career. Can Deshaun Watson be the guy? It’s almost crazy to remember how good Watson was back in 2019 and 2020 and how little football he’s played since, due to injuries and suspensions. Since 2021, Watson has suited up in a total of 12 games. Now, granted, this season he went 5-1 as a starter, but it should be concerning for Cleveland that they have so much money caught up in a guaranteed contract for a QB who can’t stay on the field. But, hey, at least he’s stayed off the massage table.

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS 26, MIAMI DOLPHINS 7

The Chiefs picked the right time to rediscover how to play offense. Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce were joined by rookie wideout Rashee Rice, who decided to actually catch passes, eight of them in fact for 130 yards. No one is surprised to see Kansas City win in the Wild Card round. They were favored and at home. What was notable is how good they looked doing it in arctic conditions. Up next? Patrick Mahomes’ first road playoff game of his entire NFL career. To use my Richard Dreyfuss voice as he creates a replica of the Devil’s Tower out of mashed potatoes in Close Encounters of the Third Kind, “This is important.”

As for the Dolphins, as good a job as Mike McDaniel did in the regular season, calling plays and designing an offense to fit his players, it was shocking how poorly he game planned playing in the conditions in Kansas City. It’s like he’d never watched a cold weather game in his life. There was no attacking downfield. No putting the defense, literally, on skates. The Buffalo Bills went to (and lost) four Super Bowls playing in this kind of weather. The Chiefs were in the same mess and attacked. Miami played scared and just hoped for the best. McDaniel has some serious reflecting to do after this defeat and if it’s because he feels Tua Tagovailoa is limited, because that’s what it looked like, then he needs to convince the team to move on from him. Because cold weather games in the playoffs aren’t going away.

SUNDAY GAMES

GREEN BAY PACKERS 48, DALLAS COWBOYS 32

Of all the thorough ass kickings delivered on Super Wild Card, the Packers obliterating the Cowboys was the most surprising of them all. If you didn’t watch this game, do not be fooled by the final score. Dallas was never in this contest at all and all their late run did was force the Pack to put their starters back in to burn some clock and keep a two score lead over the final minutes. Third year quarterback Jordan Love proved, emphatically, he’s an NFL starter and potential franchise guy, if he hadn’t already done it over the last two months of the regular season. I wasn’t a Love believer and thought he was a bad pick for Green Bay and I could not have been more wrong. They are now in the rarified territory of nailing their starting QB position for three straight guys spanning what could turn out to be three decades. That is completely ridiculous and no other franchise has done it. The closest? The Joe Montana to Steve Young baton pass for the San Francisco 49ers in the early 1990s.

As for the Cowboys, this game exemplified everything wrong with Mike McCarthy as a head coach. If Dallas doesn’t have a commanding personnel advantage (or facing a squad that has taken a knee on the year — I’m looking at you, Philadelphia Eagles) they don’t show up. It happened against the San Francisco 49ers, it happened against the Miami Dolphins and should have happened against the Detroit Lions. What’s next? Well, Mike McCarthy should be fired and the fact it hasn’t happened as I type this is the only surprise left. Jerry Jones will NEVER have the potential head coaching choices he can enjoy this offseason, including his best good pal Bill Belichick. Frankly, that just needs to happen. Anybody questioning how that relationship would work must not remember Jones hiring Bill Parcells, Belichick’s mentor, about 15 years ago. It needs to happen, frankly, today. And as for Mike McCarthy? Anyone pretending this doofus will be a hot coaching commodity if cut free is kidding themselves. I’d give McCarthy an 80 percent chance to never land another head coaching position in the NFL again. The Cowboys should have never hired him in the first place. And Dan Quinn? After that performance? Don’t expect the phone to ring much, either.

DETROIT LIONS 24, LOS ANGELES RAMS 23

Odd that the best game on paper turned out to be the best game on the field as the Detroit Lions took 30-plus years of failure, balled it up and with two elite Jared Goff completions in the final two and a half minutes of the game, tossed them into he nearest bonfire. Goff buried all his demons, beating the coach that divorced him, Sean McVay, and the quarterback that replaced him and won a Super Bowl in Matthew Stafford. Sure, if the Lions make it to the NFC Championship and face the San Francisco 49ers, they’ll be dogs. But they’ll fight like dogs too.

As for the Rams, Stafford showed why he’s the guy, why he was able to win that Super Bowl and why he’ll be wearing a gold jacket someday, putting up a near perfect performance in a one-point loss. He was beaten up the whole game, got blasted in the head, his shoulder stepped on and his hand crunched and still was phenomenal. Injuries to Kyren Williams, Tyler Higbee and even Puka Nacua, who came back in but was banged up himself on his way to setting a new rookie playoff debut record with nine catches for 181 yards and a touchdown. Nacua is already one of the best wideouts in the NFL and he plays with one of the other best wide receivers in the league in Cooper Kupp, who has not been 100 percent since August. Los Angeles has a clear salary cap now, all their draft picks including the first, first rounder that McVay and general manager Les Snead have had in their tenure together. They pick at No. 19 in a draft that will have tons of talent pushed down because of the quarterbacks taken early, likely 1-2-3. Next year, this Rams team is going to be real trouble.

MONDAY GAMES

BUFFALO BILLS 31, PITTSBURGH STEELERS 17

Nothing was really shocking in the Bills trouncing of the Steelers. Josh Allen and Buffalo played on what looked like a pretty clear field after a horrible blizzard and unleashed hell on Pittsburgh and a guy that opened the year as their No. 3 quarterback, Mason Rudolph. It was a tune up game for the Bills, but the real test comes next week when they host, for the first time, the Chiefs in the AFC Divisional Round.

As for the Steelers, the result of this one was so predictable that I literally predicted it happening all season before head coach Mike Tomlin decided to fire Matt Canada. It turns out, the firing of Canada did not change Pittsburgh’s destiny and neither did losing starter Kenny Pickett with an injury. The best thing for the Steelers would have been to lose out, get a higher pick, and start a soft rebuild like the Rams did this past offseason. Instead, all Tomlin does, as the song says, is win, win, win no matter what and this apparently had to happen regardless. Tomlin left the podium during his press conference when asked if he’d be back next season, but then a day later announced he would be. Not sure why storming off was the move there, considering he’s coached for 17 years and in the last year of his contract, but Tomlin is gonna Tomlin.

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS 32, PHILADELPHIA EAGLES 9

Lastly, we have Baker Mayfield doing that thing he does where he wins in the Wild Card Round of the playoffs. The man is now 2-0 and got the dub, while the Cleveland Browns, the team that chucked him out the door, faceplanted. That probably felt a little sweet. Much like the Cowboys vs Packers game, this one was never in doubt after the first half, but it doesn’t come as a shock. Yes, I picked the Eagles to win, but I also stated in my picks article that an upset wouldn’t surprise me at all. And it didn’t.

Frankly, I had to talk myself into picking the Eagles, thinking surely they could put it together after opening the year 10-1 and looking like the best team on the planet to at least get out of the Wild Card Round. Well, don’t call me “Shirley” and I was very mistaken. This is a team that surrendered their season two months ago and lost six of their last seven games. It was an awful way to go out and while I don’t think they’ll fire head coach Nick Sirianni, if they open next September looking anything like this, he’ll be unemployed by Halloween. Future first ballot Pro Football Hall of Fame center Jason Kelce told teammates he was going to retire after the loss and I hope he doesn’t. Yeah, he has nothing left to play for. Kelce has a Super Bowl ring, won over the New England Patriots in 2018 and has played in two. He might be the best center in NFL history. And, might I suggest that instead of retiring, he move out to Los Angeles and join up for a season on a Super Bowl run with the Los Angeles Rams. They have the cap to do some fun stuff next year and seeing Kelce in the horns would not hurt my feelings in the least.

Follow Adam Greene on Twitter @TheFirstMan and Threads @Adam.Greene.

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