Crazy NFL Parlay: Week 13

BY ADAM GREENE

We’ve not hit any of these crazy parlays yet and the reason you know that we haven’t is I’m not sitting on a beach in Cabo right now getting fanned with a palm frond by a bikini-clad Emily Ratajkowski. But we all have life goals and that remains one of mine.

Her or Amanda Seyfried, you know. I’m not unreasonable.

Either way, each week brings new life to our chances of striking it rich through playing the NFL’s version of the lottery.

Shooting for the moon on these parlays is what we’re talking about and we’ve got a selection this week to really make you think hard about plopping down that $5 you were planning on spending on the McDonald’s Dollar Menu.

Here’s what we’ve got;

GIANTS +235
REDSKINS +405
49ERS +210
DOLPHINS +385
RAIDERS +455
TEXANS +165
VIKINGS +155

A five buck parlay moneyline bet on those teams to win Sunday pays off $40,492.33. You could finally participate in the Holiday Lexus Sales Event they’re always advertising on television like any husband would ever make a 40 grand purchase without his wife knowing about it to surprise her on Christmas Day. Happy Holidays, honey! Here’s some crippling debt and sky high insurance premiums!

Now let’s talk ourselves into it. The first game, the Giants beating the Green Bay Packers is the toughest sell, but consider this; Green Bay looked awful last week. Saquan Barkley is back and New York has put up some points, even in losses. It’s a road game for the Pack, too. Green Bay lost 31-17 to the Redskins last year.

Speaking of the Skins, Dwayne Haskins picked up his first dub a week ago at quarterback. Could he stack them up now and pick off the Panthers?

The 49ers and Ravens are a potential Super Bowl match up and there’re are plenty of people picking San Francisco straight up. If there’s a front in the league that could stop Lamar Jackson, it’s probably this one.

Ryan Fitzpatrick is still slinging it for the Dolphins and they’re putting up points. The Eagles aren’t.

The Raiders are a decent team battling for a playoff spot. Jon Gruden apparently can still coach and while they look overmatched, this same Chiefs team lost to the Titans and nearly lost to the Lions.

Houston has the skill across the board to upset the Patriots, who’ve been dying to lose one of these. Tom Brady has all but packed up his family and moved to Beverly Hills.

Lastly, the Vikings need to win over the Seahawks for playoff positioning and to keep the Rams from catching them down the stretch.

It could happen. And you could tie a bow around that Lexus RX for your wife to celebrate.

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