The End of the Evil Empire?

BY ADAM GREENE

It’s not yet official, because actual journalists can’t say it’s a done deal until the ink is dry, but Tom Brady will not play as a New England Patriot in 2020. He’s going to sign with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

And no one in Boston can even go out and get drunk and say something racist about it.

After two decades of doing their best to ruin the NFL together, Tom Brady and Bill Belichick will no longer be consciously coupled.

It’s over.

Oh God. It’s over. Maybe.

In this incredibly weird time, this was a weirdness for which I wasn’t prepared. I know the Patriots weren’t either. But here we all are. What are the Pats going to do? And what will the Bucs look like?

First off, let’s not pretend Tom Brady played that great last season. He was decent and, if he performs at that same level, you’d expect him to be light years better than Jameis Winston, who became the first NFL quarterback in history to throw 30 touchdowns and 30 picks in the same season. But both guys had a QBR of 53.7 last year, if you can believe it.

Quarterbacks don’t decline like other players. They go off a cliff. Brady has avoided it through his alien DNA and eldritch dealings thus far, but it’s coming. And it’s likely to come in a Tampa uniform. Don’t pencil the Bucs into your Super Bowl slot just yet.

And while it might make your eyes light up to think of Brady tossing passes to Mike Evans and Chris Godwin, he’s not been an air-it-out guy for a while. Last season Brady finished 26th in the NFL in average pass distance.

But what about the Patriots? Are they going into battle with Jarrett Stidham and Cody Kessler? I don’t see that happening. There are ideas out there that I like, specifically a trade for Andy Dalton or adding Jameis Winston in a defacto trade. They make me happy to think about because they would blow up in Belichick’s swollen, sullen face.

Then there’s an idea that I hate. And it’s all the Carolina Panthers’ fault as they are now officially shopping Cam Newton after reportedly reaching an agreement with Teddy Bridgewater.

The Patriots should be on the phone with Carolina right now, working the deal to add Newton to their roster and that thought should scare absolutely everyone reading this.

Cam might not be healthy. There’s got to be a reason the Panthers were so eager to toss him out. I wondered, when he released his “Moment of Clarity” wearing a normal human hat and not a bedazzled sombrero that maybe his heart wasn’t in playing football anymore.

You know what would fix that real quick? Suiting up for Belichick in a Pats uniform.

I just hope some other team swoops in to trade for a franchise quarterback that suddenly got considerably cheaper by three years and $63 million. Because if a healthy and pissed off Cam tosses on a No. 1 red-silver-blue jersey next season, we’re going to be in this New England Patriots dynasty mess all over again.

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