Bad Beats: NFL Week 11

I hope you are sitting down, because if you took the dog in this one, I know you’re still not able to stand. There was no question this week as to which game would be our Bad Beat. We got the quintessential Bad Beat in Week 11. They should make a statue of it. Plant a tree of remembrance. Dedicate an outdoor toilet in its name.

BAD BEATS: NFL WEEK 11
BY ADAM GREENE

I’m talking, of course, about the soul-crushing San Francisco 49ers 36, Arizona Cardinals 26.

The flip side of a Bad Beat is a miracle win and if you took the 49ers at -10.5, you are living right, my friend. You have obviously picked the correct religion. You’re doing good in the world and the universe wants to reward you for it.

But, if you took Cardinals +10.5, well, you probably called into work today.

Let me set the stage. It’s the beginning of the fourth quarter, the Cardinals are up 19-17 and all is right with the world. You don’t even care that your neighbor has already put up his 2,000-watt bat signal Christmas lights display he won’t shut off until after midnight. With the money you’re about to win, you might even toss in a contribution to his electric bill.

The 49ers drive down to open the fourth and get a touchdown on a two-yard pass from Jimmy Garoppolo to Kendrick Bourne. They lead 23-19 now, but you’re still good. Maybe you’ll go ahead and get in that Christmas spirit yourself. Sip a little egg nog. Maybe fire up the oven for some holiday cookies.

There’s no reason not to believe as the Cardinals reel off a 10-play, 78-yard touchdown drive of their own to retake the lead 26-23 with 6:30 to go.

Then… THEN, Garoppolo throws a pick and the Cards have the ball back with 4:30 left in the game.

They go three-and-out, but you don’t care. Your on your fourth egg nog at this point and you’ve put the good stuff in it from the top shelf. You’re cruising.

Garoppolo decides to switch it up and throw the ball to his own teammates, working down the field for a quick score to retake the lead, 30-26, with 31 seconds to go.

Arizona promptly fumbles the ball away at their own 30, effectively ending any chance they had to come back, but you still have 6.5 points to spare. You’ve dropped the egg nog at this point and are just sipping the whiskey straight, singing Jingle Bells under your breath.

The Niners go four-and-out to try to end the game, but can’t. There’s six seconds left on the clock. The Cardinals line up and, you would think, run the ball once and get the hell out of there, but not Super Genius Offensive Mastermind Kliff Kingsbury. Oh no, he’s dialing up some pass plays because he has a couple of good players, Kyler Murray and Larry Fitzgerald, so why not try to get them hurt when nothing good can come of it?

Well, nobody got hurt. Nobody but your bank account that is, because Murray hit Fitzgerald who tried to lateral the ball around, as they do, and before long it got set like a volleyball dig into the red zone where San Francisco’s D.J. Reed Jr. finally scooped it up and scored.

Needless to say, you weren’t going to be “sipping” that whiskey anymore.

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