BAD BEATS: NFL WEEK 4

BY ADAM GREENE

For the betting world, Week 4 of the NFL season went full scorched earth. You know how, in a stealth video game, you can still choose to just go through the board choking out and throat stabbing every guy? Well, that’s what Week 4 did to NFL wagers all over the planet. Sunday was like the first act of the movie Armageddon, when all the smaller meteors started falling portending to a big one headed to us with only Bruce Willis and a pre Batman Ben Affleck to save the day.

It was bad, man. Baths were forcibly taken, thanks to the Los Angeles Rams deciding to take a week off of the red zone. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, led by Tom Brady in his return to Foxboro, decided they too would forgo this whole scoring a legitimate amount of points against an overmatched opponent thing. As a downpour rolled on, Brady looked every bit like a 44 year old man sick of standing out in the rain.

But neither of those games count as a Bad Beat. It was obvious from the opening possession that the Rams were going to struggle to slow down Kyler Murray and the Arizona Cardinals offense as LA’s new defensive coordinator Raheem Morris used sideline shoulder shrug was the best defensive call.

The Buccaneers defense wasn’t much better. You know when the game opens and Mac Jones is carving you up like Tom Brady, but Brady is standing on your own sideline, it’s going to be a long night.

Even the Tennessee Titans, going up against the lowly New York Jets, not only didn’t cover, but straight up lost.

No, there was one, and only one game that would claim the title of this week’s Bad Beat and it’s a contender for Bad Beat of the Year; I’m talking, of course, about Washington Football Team 34, Atlanta Falcons 30.

WFT was favored by a measly -1.5 and they were playing at Atlanta. The Falcons had just picked up their first win of the season and were facing a defense that gave up 30 points a game. And the irony of this Bad Beat is, nothing about that changed Sunday. Washington still gave up 30 points.

But you looked at Matt Ryan, at Calvin Ridley, Kyle Pitts and what was supposed to be an NFL stable of running backs and you thought, they can with this one. WFT quarterback Taylor Heinicke fell back to earth a bit the week before in a 43-21 loss to the Bills. This was just his fourth regular season start. In your mind, there was no excuse for Atlanta to lose this one at home and, frankly, you were right. And, looking at that Falcon logo atop their helmets, you suddenly felt some real inspiration.

So you placed your bet and pointed your web browsing device over to Trans Am Worldwide, those guys that make new versions of old Trans Ams and you knew exactly where you were headed. These were the guys that made The Bandit, the custom new Trans Am modeled after the car Burt Reynolds drove in Smokey and the Bandit 1 and 2, signed and numbered by Burt himself. Those are off the table now. Burt is gone, but the Bandit style remains as The Outlaw, and that’s what you are. Taking the Falcons as a dog to all but win outright. You’re a downright desperado and as such need a horse worthy of your infamy.

But it would be a tight one and you knew that, so you just focused on the base model, booking at around $139,000 with Atlanta up 17-13 at the half. You felt a disturbance in the force, as if Buford T. Justice himself was in your rearview as Washington’s DeAndre Carter returned the opening kickoff of the third quarter 101 yards for a touchdown. WFT now had the two points they needed to deny you all the bridge jumping you had just been planning.

Matt Ryan had your back, though. The screaming Falcon atop his head was going to put a Screaming Chicken in your driveway as he reeled off an eight-play, 68 yard drive capped with a TD pass to Cordarelle Patterson, a guy you didn’t know was allowed to do that before Sunday. Atlanta led 23-19. It was time to start looking at upgrades.

Washington drove down for a field goal, but still trailed by one, so you zeroed in on the 3 piece 10 spoke Crawler Race Wheels for an extra $6,460. No reason to skimp. Burt’s name wasn’t going to be on this car, but his spirit was.

Again, Ryan felt you. He nodded at your through your Samsung 70 inch TV to let you know, go ahead and start thinking about those Michelin Pilot Sport 4S tires for $2,429 while you were at it, knocking out a 13 play, 83 yard drive, hitting Mike Davis for the seven yard score. The Falcons led by eight.

And even when Heinicke marched the WFT down the field for a touchdown drive to spoil your hopes of a Brembo Performance Caliper and Rotor Upgrade Suspension for $9,998, it was fine. They missed the two point conversion. Atlanta led 30-28 and the math was all in your favor.

If the Falcons drive down and end the game, you’re good. If they don’t and Washington pulls off the winning field goal, you’re still good and those sweet ass $20.000 smoked glass T-Tops were going in. But WFT didn’t go down and hit the winning field goal. They wanted to. They really did. That was the plan the entire time as they got the ball on their own 24 with 1:43 left in the game.

No. You can’t blame Washington for this one as what should have been a pass just batted down, with two defenders on J.D. McKissic in the end zone, they literally watched the running back catch the ball for a touchdown in front of them.

With 33 seconds left on the clock, there would be no Aaron Rodgers miracle because he was nowhere on this field. You had Matt Ryan and his last play, down to the WFT 37, was an incomplete pass that fell to the turf, taking your dreams of riding down the backroads of the southeastern USA sitting next to Sally Field in a wedding dress with it.

The NFL season is underway and the Week 3 Schedule is up and taking bets at BetOnline.AG.

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