BAD BEATS: NFL WEEK THREE

BY ADAM GREENE

We have fun here with the Bad Beats. I feel as if it’s part of the healing process. Sure, you may have lost money in an improbable fashion, but we can all join together for a laugh. We can put it into perspective. We still have our health, right?

Oh yeah, the whole global COVID-19 pandemic thing. Well, either way we’re still kicking and in picking our Bad Beat this week and there’s really no contest. You already know what it’s going to be.

Chicago Bears 30, Atlanta Falcons 26

The Falcons are determined to get a mention in pretty much every one of these articles. They have turned the Bad Beat into an art form, working their genius on the gridiron like other true masters work in clay or oils. Where the rest of us just see a block of marble, the Atlanta Falcons can envision the horrid, soul crushing loss that lives inside it.

But you felt good plunking your hard earned money on Atlanta this week. They were at home, whatever that means these days, and favored by -2.5. Yes, they blew a 20-0 lead over the Dallas Cowboys last week, but that was the Cowboys, a team loaded with offensive talent. This was the Bears. Led by Mitchell Trubisky. Even with Julio Jones out, Atlanta still had the offensive firepower to take care of this one.

And for two and a half quarters you were feeling great. The Falcons offense was humming and Trubisky was doing those Trubisky things he does, like going three-and-out and throwing stupid picks. Atlanta led 23-10 and you were already thinking about what you were going to do with your money.

Your mind starting working over safe vacation spots for you, your spouse and your kids that wouldn’t be too crowded while the weather’s still warm. You know what would be great? A cabin. A nice one with a Jacuzzi right off some hiking trails. You can distance and if society continues to collapse, you’ll already be safely ensconced on a mountaintop watching the world burn from afar. Frankly, it’s my dream scenario.

The Falcons tacked on another field goal, pushing their lead to 26-10 and the woods were calling. It would be nice to see the leaves change. You could already smell your pumpkin spice late perched under your nose.

But then something horrible happened. The one thing you did not want to see. Trubisky didn’t come trotting back out onto the field. It was Nick Foles. Oh. No.

And the nightmare was on as Foles immediately worked the Bears offense down the field and tossed a touchdown to Allen Robinson. You could no longer smell that pumpkin spice latte. You were smelling something else. And you didn’t like it.

But the replay Gods fixed the play, called Robinson’s TD an interception and you breathed a sigh of relief as you pulled up LandsEnd.com on your phone to find some good, comfy sweaters.

Foles wasn’t finished though. Again he appeared to throw a touchdown on a fourth down, only to have replay overrule it. You were getting gifted this game by fate. But you got cocky. You went ahead and ordered that sweater with a matching set of gloves. The good kind with the pads on the thumb and forefinger that allow you to still use your phone.

Given another chance, Foles didn’t let replay stop him this time. After having two touchdown drives called back, Foles reeled off three straight. The Bears led 30-26, the two overturned plays the only thing keeping the game close.

But the lead was four. Atlanta could still cover with a touchdown and had nearly two minutes to do it. Three straight plays and Matt Ryan had the team at midfield with a minute to go. In the shotgun he looked deep to Calvin Ridley, his money man all day. Only this time, the bank account was empty. Bears safety Tashaun Gipson came down with the ball, ending the game and your dreams of escaping the apocalypse in a stylish AirBNB.

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