Craziest Parlay for NFL Week 12

BY ADAM GREENE

It’s time to take this whole thing seriously. We have the parlay of a lifetime on the table this week and, yes, we’d need a lot of things to go right, but none of these upsets are that ridiculous and off the table.

Look at these moneylines:

DOLPHINS +410
BRONCOS +175
JETS +150
PANTHERS +360
BUCCANEERS +165
JAGUARS +165
PACKERS +145
RAMS +145

If you checked out The FAQ Friday, then you know I’ve picked a few of these upsets straight up (Jets, Packers and Rams), but, really none of them would be ridiculous wins with the match ups on the table. I mean, can you see the Cleveland Browns crapping their Serta Beautyrest as a -10.5 favorite?

Or how about the Atlanta Falcons realizing that losing to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers could get Dan Quinn fired? The Tennessee Titans remembering that they are, in fact, the Titans?

So what kind of parlay pay off are we talking here? A $30 winning bet will deliver you, and I hope you’re sitting down, $150,000. A $5 bet will buy you a new loaded Ford F-150 with a $33,988 payout.

Here are your scenarios:

Ryan Fitzpatrick does that thing where he decides to throw five touchdown passes and Baker Mayfield responds by tossing passes into triple coverage all game to the point that even Miami’s defensive backs have to catch at least one of them.

Brandon Allen is a “gamer” against the Bills and with the help of the Denver run game, ekes out a grinding win as Josh Allen gets sacked four times by Von Miller and Bradley Chubb.

I’ve already picked the Jets to upset the Raiders as Oakland makes the cross country trip for a 1 p.m. kick that’s 10 a.m. on their body clocks.

Jameis Winston has a replay of the Rams game against the Falcons and Atlanta becomes the same team that lost five in a row including a 34-33 defeat to the Arizona Cardinals and rookie QB Kyler Murray.

For the Jaguars, Nick Foles becomes Thanksgiving and December Nick Foles, the guy that dragged the Philadelphia Eagles to the postseason for the last two years and hoisted the Super Bowl LII MVP trophy.

The 49ers’ diabetic schedule suddenly hits a brick wall, facing a potential NFC Super Bowl representative in Green Bay. Aaron Rodgers, in spite of being 4-1 against San Fran in his career, has never won at Levi’s stadium and you know he’s dying to put that little stat to bed.

Lastly, on Monday night the Rams have one of the best defenses in the league and exactly the type of front that can contain Lamar Jackson. As good as the second-year QB has been, he’s facing Aaron Donald for the first time in his life and I can see Jalen Ramsey benefiting from that on the back end. I already picked this upset straight up.

So buy that lottery ticket for $5 and build yourself that blacksmith building you’ve been dreaming of since you caught that first episode of Forged in Fire.

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