CRAZY NFL PARLAY: NFL WEEK 8

BY ADAM GREENE

It’s the best time of the NFL week again, where I peruse the odds, lines and totals to craft the perfect Crazy NFL Paral, turning the price of a trip through the Starbucks Drive-Thru into a brand new Kawasaki Ultra 310X Jet Ski.

If this is your first foray into the Crazy NFL Parlay, let me allay your fears. This isn’t just tossing a dart at the wall wearing a blindfold. Oh no. This is packaged chaos. This is taking the universe’s natural entropic state and attempting to monetize it. It’s an old trope to say that “any given team can win on any given Sunday,” so let’s make some cash with that. Every week there are upsets, shockers and stunning results. How much better would you feel if you could pile a bunch of cash earned from that craziness into a Scrooge McDuck-ian money bin?

Each week I flip through the moneylines, sometimes with odds and totals and craft the perfect parlay to turn that Alexander Hamilton in your wallet into an actual ticket to see Hamilton on Broadway. We’re not going to miss our shot.

Here’s what I’ve carefully selected for you this week;

Indianapolis Colts +100

Pittsburgh Steelers +112

Los Angeles Rams +235

New York Giants +135

Tennessee Titans +122

Cleveland Browns +168

Cincinnati Bengals +175

Chicago Bears +345

If you’ve already read my Friday Afternoon Quarterback, Sunday Night Football and Monday Night Football picks articles (and you should. I am very entertaining), then you know I like a few of these upsets straight up. I picked the Rams to get their playoff hopes back on track with a victory over the Dallas Cowboys and the Cincinnati Bengals to officially claim an NFC West title by knocking off the Sam Darnold-led San Francisco 49ers.

It’s the other games we have to talk ourselves into, so let’s get cracking.

The Colts are hosting the New Orleans Saints coached by Dennis Allen? Would an upset surprise you? Jonathan Taylor will be suiting up, after all.

Do you really trust the Atlanta Falcons on the road, even against a Titans team quarterbacked by Malike Willis and/or Will Levis? Derrick Henry is still alive, right?

Nothing would be worse for the Steelers than a win at home over the Jacksonville Jaguars, one of the best teams in the AFC. So, of course, that could happen just to keep Matt Canada employed.

In the Battle of New York, do you really feel comfortable that Zach Wilson can outperform Tyrod Taylor of the New York Giants?

The Browns have won two straight with PJ Walker playing and both those victories were over better teams than the Seattle Seahawks.

Finally, in a battle of two of the worst head coaches in the league with four wins between them as we enter Week 8, what’s keeping us from taking Matt Eberflus over Brandon Staley?

A winning $10 parley bet on these eight moneylines pays $24,292.95.

Follow Adam Greene on Twitter @TheFirstMan.

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