CRAZY NFL PARLAY: WEEK 10

BY ADAM GREENE

We’ve made it through nine weeks of the NFL season and yet not a single one of our crazy NFL parlays has hit, but we’ve come tantalizingly close. Last week, we built one from moneylines and unders to no avail. But we’re not done. It’s not over. Nothing is over until we decide it is. Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

Hell no!

It ain’t over now! Cause when the going gets tough, the tough keep reaching for crazy parlays so they can turn pocket change into a brand new Tesla Model Y. Because the less time you spend touching a gas pump in the midst of a global pandemic the better. And you know anyone using a Tesla charging station is at least washing their hands.

Realistically, I know what you’re doing with these articles and it’s OK. I’m doing the same thing. You’re picking a few of the suggestions you like best, piling them together, and going for a solid, but probably not spectacular parlay. I hope you’ve won some money this season doing it. I know I have.

But our goal remains the same; to hit the big one, using our knowledge of the chaotic nature of the NFL to our advantage in order to buy the sports betting version of a lottery ticket.

Here’s what I picked out for you this week:

Texans +170

Panthers +210

Broncos +165

Bills +125

Chargers +105

Seahawks +115

Patriots +260

Bears +140

So, as always, let’s talk ourselves into this one. If you’ve already checked out this week’s Friday Afternoon Quarterback (and if you haven’t, you should), you know that I’ve already picked the Houston Texans to get the “upset” over the Cleveland Browns for every reason you pick against the Browns in an important game. I also see the Buffalo Bills, in spite of their cross-country trip to the desert, taking out the Arizona Cardinals just like every other NFC West team they’ve faced this year.

It’s with the rest of the slate that we need some convincing. The Carolina Panthers have played pretty much everyone strong this season while the Tampa Bay Buccaneers were more exposed than a cheating boyfriend who forgot to lock his phone last week against the Saints. Carolina could pull the upset here by mirroring what New Orleans did on defense. The Miami Dolphins are a -1 favorite over the Los Angeles Chargers and Tua Tagovailoa is making just his third start of the season. Justin Herbert, the current favorite to win the NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year, is making his eighth.

The Seattle Seahawks lost to the Bills last week and this is a team that might not be capable of losing two in a row, even against a Los Angeles Rams team that’s been their Kryptonite since 2014.

The Baltimore Ravens offense has been slowed down by pretty much everyone, with quarterback Lamar Jackson admitting that the opposing defenses are actually calling out their plays as they line up. You think maybe Bill Belichick can make the most of that?

Lastly we have the Chicago Bears on Monday night, a team fighting for its playoff life, that’s lost two gut-wrenchers straight and hosting a Kirk Cousin- led Minnesota Vikings team at home. I mean, come on.

A $25 bet on this parlay pays off at $47,486.63 and you can load up that Model Y with every bell, whistle and useless computer program Elon Musk can invent before he blasts off to Mars.

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