CRAZY NFL PARLAY: WEEK 11

BY ADAM GREENE

Are you ready, kids? I can’t hear you! Ohhh, it’s that time of the week again, where we gather the pocket change from our coach cushions and vehicle center consoles, put it in a pile and try to turn it into a brand new Sea-Doo Watercraft with only the power of our bets.

Yes, I am talking about the Crazy NFL Parlay, that perfect grouping of football contests that takes the $10 we were about to spend on that Amazon Gift Card for the company Secret Santa Club and use the chaos unleashed by an NFL weekend to turn into a rap-video worthy stack of cash.

If this is your first Crazy NFL Parlay, here’s what we do. We aren’t just blindly throwing darts at moneylines. I say thee nay! We are harnessing entropy itself, the universe’s natural state and attempting to monetize it. The NFL has a mantra, “Any team can win on any given Sunday” and this year in particular has proved it time and again. We are picking moneylines, and sometimes odds and totals, in such a way as to wrangle that mantra and put it into a solid gold barn.

Here’s all the good work I did for you this week;

Jets +160

Rams +125

Bears +139

Raiders +130

Vikings +106

Steelers +170

Chargers +200

Cardinals +295

It’s a really good once, since if you’ve already read my Friday Afternoon Quarterback column along with my Sunday Night and Monday Night Previews, then you know I like a lot of these “upsets” to win already.

I like the New York Jets to exorcize the New England Patriots’ demon for good. I feel as if the Los Angeles Rams, with Matthew Stafford back behind center, can put enough together to defeat the New Orleans Saints. I believe as if the Chicago Bears and fantasy football sensation Justin Field can outlast the Atlanta Falcons. The Minnesota Vikings have more than enough firepower, and they’re at home, to overcome the visiting Dallas Cowboys and the Arizona Cardinals, regardless of who starts at quarterback Monday Night, should be able to dispatch the San Francisco 49ers just like the did in sweeping fashion last season.

That just leaves a handful of games to talk ourselves into, so let’s get to it.

The Las Vegas Raiders have been a disaster and a laughingstock, but so have the Denver Broncos. How big an upset would this be, the way Russell Wilson is currently running his kitchen? The main can’t even boil ramen at that altitude.

Back in Week 1, the Pittsburgh Steelers knocked off the Cincinnati Bengals in Cincinnati. Now they’re playing in Pittsburgh and are, maybe, better on offense. Oh, and TJ Watt is back.

Lastly, the Los Angeles Chargers split with the Chiefs a year ago. LA is better now than it was then and they’re playing at home in SoFi (yes, that might not be the convincing point I wanted it to be considering both LA fanbases).

A $10 winning parlay bet on these eight moneylines pays $21,184.88.

Follow Adam Greene on Twitter @TheFirstMan.

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