It’s the best time of the week, that moment where we open up the odds, lines and totals in order to use them to buy ourselves a lottery ticket with a Crazy NFL Parlay.

But we’ve got better odds than the lottery, because we’re not leaving it to chance. The Crazy NFL Parlay is no random pick of plus moneylines. There is no blindfold or dartboard involved. Instead, we are lassoing the whirlwind. We are harnessing the natural chaotic nature of professional football where the “Anything can happen on any given Sunday” mantra is proven every single week.

Entropy is the universe’s natural state, so we might as well use it to turn the money we’d spend in the Wendy’s Drive Thru into a Ski-Doo.

Here’s what I’ve hand selected for you this week:

Saints +122

Steelers +120

Seahawks +335

Vikings +117

Titans +360

Jaguars +155

Dolphins +161

Now, if you need to pop open a new browser window to get caught up on my picks in this week’s Friday Afternoon Quarterback as well as the Sunday Night Football and two Monday Night Football Previews, you go ahead. When you come back, you’ll recognize some of these upsets already.

Yes, I have already gazed fixedly into my crystal ball and determined that the New Orleans Saints would keep their regular season dominance of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers intact. I expect the Pittsburgh Steelers to smack around an overrated and overmatched New England Patriots team. As shocking as it would be, I’ve foreseen a Seattle Seahawks upset win for the second week in a row, this time against the Trey Lance led San Francisco 49ers. Lastly, the Minnesota Vikings dominated their game against the Green Bay Packers a week ago while the Philadelphia Eagles barely held off the Detroit Lions. 

With four of the games already in the queue, we had to dig out three more. Now, with those, we have some work to do in talking ourselves into betting on them.

The Tennessee Titans have beaten the Buffalo Bills two seasons in a row in large part to Derrick Henry leaving a giant cleat mark on Buffalo’s defense. Henry looked pretty good a week ago in his 2022 debut and could be due one of his insane 180-plus yard games.

The Jacksonville Jaguars nearly pulled off an upset against the Washington Commanders in Week 1.The Indianapolis was one of my preseason favorites, but after finishing with a tie against the Houston Texans last week, the bloom has diminished from the rose. If that Colts team that showed up in Week 1 makes an appearance in Week 2, the Jags can steal this one like they did their last seven match ups with the Colts in Jacksonville. That includes the Week 18 loss last year that knocked Indianapolis out of the playoff race.

Lastly, we have the Miami Dolphins delivering a road upset over the Baltimore Ravens. Is it possible? We know that sharp defensive coordinators can shut Greg Roman’s offense down (or slow it down considerably) with a scheme. Tua Tagovailoa made the most of his debut in Mike McDaniel’s offense and this could be a game to really put on a show with some of the best offensive skill position weapons in the league.

A winning $10 bet on a parlay with these lines and moneylines pays $14,104.42

Follow Adam Greene on Twitter @TheFirstMan.

Connect with us our socials on Twitter and Instagram for the latest sports news, viral moments, betting odds and the occasional memes.


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