FRIDAY AFTERNOON QUARTERBACK: NFL WEEK 17

BY ADAM GREENE

Our penultimate NFL week officially began as we all expected, with the Cleveland Browns winning by three scores over the New York Jets, 37-20. Considering both these teams were in the same boat a month into the season, with injured star quarterbacks and elite defenses, Robert Saleh and Jets general manager Joe Douglas should have some hard questions to answer after this game. Specifically, how is Kevin Stefanski and Cleveland GM Andrew Barry so much better at this than you?

We still have a full slate of Sunday games, so let’s pick them.

MIAMI DOLPHINS AT BALTIMORE RAVENS (-3.5, O/U: 47)

This is the best game of the week and has been since the schedule was released. As it’s gotten closer, it’s only become bigger so you can see why no one, not a single human in the NFL front office, thought it might be a good idea to flex it into Prime Time or to even the 4:30 block. You’re nailing it, guys! The Ravens have beaten everyone and the Dolphins have only one victory over a team with a winning record. That doesn’t mean they suck, but they’re not beating Baltimore. Ravens 34, Dolphins 27

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS AT BUFFALO BILLS (-12, O/U: 40.5)

From where I’m sitting, literally a thousand miles away at a desk in East Tennessee, the Bills look like the only team in the AFC that has a prayer against Baltimore. Of course, they have to keep their playoff spot to get the chance. The Pats are done for the year and there’s a good chance that the Super Genius Bill Belichick is done for a career. He’s not going out without a fight. Bills 27, Patriots 17

ATLANTA FALCONS AT CHICAGO BEARS (-3, O/U: 38)

We have a playoff elimination game between two teams that are already realistically eliminated from the playoffs. You could call this a “loser leaves town” match, but since both teams have a losing record and probably still will after this game, a loser has to get into town first. Bears 27, Falcons 20

TENNESSEE TITANS AT HOUSTON TEXANS (-4.5, O/U: 42.5)

Will it be Will Levis or Ryan Tannehill for the Titans Sunday? Considering I can’t find any news on it, it appears the media has phoned it in on Tennessee’s season just as the team has. I do know CJ Stroud should be playing for Houston and, as Aaron Neville once sang, “And that may be all I need to know.” Texans 24, Titans 16

LAS VEGAS RAIDERS AT INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (-3.5, O/U: 44)

Our second playoff elimination game shows up on the docket. I could complain that they should be playing this game in a more featured time slot, but we have at least two more games that can make the same eliminator claims. Vegas has won two straight in impressive fashion after putting forth one of the worst offensive performances of the year three weeks ago in a 3-0 loss to the Minnesota Vikings. Indy continually moves in and out of the playoff bracket like a toddler being annoying with the automatic door at Walmart. I’m not sure if a win here gets them back into the Top 7, but they should go ahead and wrap all the Raiders’ postseason hopes. Colts 31, Raiders 23

CAROLINA PANTHERS AT JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (-6.5, O/U: 38)

The Jaguars have done all they can to ruin what should have been a cakewalk to an AFC South title. Luckily for them, Santa left a visit from Carolina under the tree this week and all will be made right with the world. Jaguars 31, Panthers 13

LOS ANGELES RAMS AT NEW YORK GIANTS (+4.5, O/U: 43.5)

The Rams have battled their way back into contention and, as of right now, look like the only team that could trip up the San Francisco 49ers on their way to the NFC Championship. They’ll get a chance to prove it next week, but for that game to mean anything, they need to take care of business against a bad Giants team that will be a little bit better with Tyrod Taylor at quarterback. Rams 34, Giants 20

ARIZONA CARDINALS AT PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (-10.5, O/U: 48)

You always want to win, but the Eagles climbing out of their losing streak by beating teams like the Giants and Cardinals doesn’t feel as if it fixes anything. Arizona will be a willing doormat, as they need to lose their final two games to keep the No. 2 overall draft pick. Eagles 30, Cardinals 17

NEW ORLEANS AT TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (-3, O/U: 42)

While the Buccaneers won’t be eliminated with a loss here, the Saints will so you know what that means. Buccaneers 44, Saints 23

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS AT WASHINGTON COMMANDERS (+13.5)

There’s no universe in the multiverse where the Commanders win this game, even if they trot out Jacoby Brissett at quarterback, but the Niners should be careful. Brock Purdy has suffered a stinger two weeks in a row, so once they get a solid lead, San Fran should toss the keys to Sam Darnold and sim to the end of the game. 49ers 34, Commanders 16

PITTSBURGH STEELERS AT SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (-3.5, O/U: 42)

Well, the Seahawks proved me wrong. Thanks to a string of good luck, they’ve managed to produce a winning record once again. It’d be too bad for the Steelers to come into the Pacific Northwest and ruin it. Steelers 24, Seahawks 20

CINCINNATI BENGALS AT KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (-7, O/U: 44.5)

The Jake Browning glass slipper shattered last week and put multiple eyes out. He’s still atop their depth chart, but don’t be surprised to see AJ McCarren get the nod from the bullpen as it gets ugly. Kansas City hasn’t looked this bad in a long time and they’re about to take it out on a team they usually struggle against. Chiefs 33, Bengals 23

LOS ANGELES CHARGERS AT DENVER BRONCOS (-3, O/U: 37.5)

Easton Stick. Jarrett Stidham. This is it. The quarterback duel we’ll all be recounting to our grandchildren. Denver has seen fit to cut ties with Russell Wilson completely, even as the guy was having a solid season. I guess Sean Payton had seen enough and has made the call that he might want to coach a quarterback that can see over his own offensive line next year. Broncos 17, Chargers 14

Last week

Straight up: 12-4

Against the spread: 10-6

Season

Straight up: 124-74

Against the spread: 110-88

Follow Adam Greene on Twitter @TheFirstMan.

Connect with us our socials on Twitter and Instagram for the latest sports news, viral moments, betting odds and the occasional memes.