Friday Afternoon Quarterback: NFL Week 6

So what do we think of the New England Patriots? Let me be clear, they’re still going to the Super Bowl. Pittsburgh Dad first made the joke that I’m about to steal and build on. They’re basically the NFL’s version of the final boss in a video game. Only they get to use the cheat codes and none of your special attacks work.

FRIDAY AFTERNOON QUARTERBACK: NFL WEEK 6
BY ADAM GREENE

Do they look good? Not for the last two weeks. Is this the best defense in the NFL? Who have they played to really prove it? What I do know is that last night we were blessed with another classic Tom Brady vs, Daniel Jones quarterback duel. One we’ll be whispering about with our grandkids one day. A game they’ll be making documentaries about with soaring music and guys sitting around talking about it in jackets and leather chairs.

Let’s make some picks!

CAROLINA PANTHERS AT TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (+2, O/U: 47)

The irony in this game is that Kyle Allen, an undrafted free agent, might cost both No. 1 quarterbacks on these two depth charts their jobs by the end of the season. PANTHERS 24, BUCS 21

CINCINNATI BENGALS AT BALTIMORE RAVENS (-11, O/U: 48)

Here’s a fun fact: For the last seven years, the Bengals under Marvin Lewis owned the Ravens. He was 9-4 against them and one of the losses was in overtime. There’s something about this match up, is what I’m saying. It’s Halloween season and the specter of Marvin Lewis still haunts the Bengals. That might actually be a good thing this week. RAVENS 20, BENGALS 17

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS AT CLEVELAND BROWNS (+1.5, O/U: 46)

Russell Wilson is playing out of his mind and the Browns just can’t seem to overcome the fact that they’re the Browns. Of all the Cleveland Browns in the world, they’re the Cleveland Brown-iest. SEAHAWKS 23, BROWNS 20

HOUSTON TEXANS AT KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (-4, O/U: 55)

If there’s a blueprint to beating the Chiefs after last week, make no mistake that Bill O’Brien accidentally held it over a candle and set it on fire, while simultaneously spilling an entire plate of ravioli on it. CHIEFS 44, TEXANS 27

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS AT JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (-1.5, O/U: 43.5)

Gardner Minshew’s not losing two games in a row. The very thought is insanity. JAGUARS 20, SAINTS 17

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES AT MINNESOTA VIKINGS (-3, O/U: 44)

I don’t know which version of Kirk Cousins is going to show up in this game. The guy that consistently performs when it matters the least, leading his team to a .500 season or the guy that consistently underperforms when it matters the most, leading his team to a .500 season. It’s a toss-up. VIKINGS 23, EAGLES 17

WASHINGTON REDSKINS AT MIAMI DOLPHINS (+3.5, O/U: 42)

How does this game end up on the schedule? In what church do we need to hit our knees and thank a deity to see these two baby diaper-filled dumpster fires face off against one another? And here’s the thing, there’s no way Washington loses this game. By firing Jay Gruden out of the building in a trebuchet, they’re immediately four games better. REDSKINS 27, DOLPHINS 10

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS AT LOS ANGELES RAMS (-3, O/U: 50.5)

After the final whistle Richard Sherman is going to claim Rams QB Jared Goff refused to thumb wrestle him in the pregame. RAMS 41, 49ERS 27

ATLANTA FALCONS AT ARIZONA CARDINALS (+2.5, O/U: 51.5)

Look around Arizona, Dan Quinn. Check out the housing prices. It’s a nice place to retire, I hear. FALCONS 27, CARDINALS 17

DALLAS COWBOYS AT NEW YORK JETS (+7, O/U: 44.5)

Sam Darnold is back from mono, but don’t be too relaxed Dallas. If he goes in for a pre-game kiss, back away, Dak Prescott. No means no. COWBOYS 34, JETS 10

TENNESSEE TITANS AT DENVER BRONCOS (-2, O/U: 40)

It’s time for that “I’ve given up on the Broncos completely) 11-game winning streak to start. BRONCOS 26, TITANS 13

SUNDAY NIGHT

PITTSBURGH STEELERS AT LOS ANGELES CHARGERS (-6.5, O/U: 41.5)

When does the flex schedule start? Carrie Underwood should just open this game with a giant fart sound. CHARGERS 30, STEELERS 13

MONDAY NIGHT

DETROIT LIONS AT GREEN BAY PACKERS (-4, O/U: 46)

The Lions are better, but Aaron Rodgers is playing for a real head coach now that can actually draw up NFL-caliber offensive plays. The NFC is in trouble. PACKERS 35, LIONS 24

THIS WEEK

AGAINST THE SPREAD: 1-0
STRAIGHT UP: 1-0

LAST WEEK

AGAINST THE SPREAD: 12-3
STRAIGHT UP: 8-7

OVERALL

AGAINST THE SPREAD: 41-37
STRAIGHT UP: 46-32

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