NFL Bad Beat for Week 6

If you follow this column regularly, there was no question what you’d see picked as the week’s bad beat. In fact, you knew it was coming the minute the call was made on the Miami Dolphins’ sideline and Ryan Fitzpatrick starting picking egg out of his beard.

BAD BEATS: NFL WEEK 6
BY ADAM GREENE

Yep, Washington Redskins 17, Miami Dolphins 16 is your bad beat of the week and a candidate for bad beat of the year and we’ve still got 11 regular season weeks to go.

Let’s set the stage. The Redskins came in as -3.5 favorites and for good reason. Neither of these teams had won a game this season, but Washington had made a call last Monday that made its entire team instantly better; they fired head coach Jay Gruden.

In his place stepped offensive line coach Bill Callahan, who had the honor of being the last head coach fired by former (and now dead) Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis. It’s like he hung on to life just long enough to fire Callahan out of the building in an ejector seat.

While Callahan did “take” the Raiders to a Super Bowl in 2002, it was with Jon Gruden’s players and he was promptly defeated in that same Super Bowl by (checks notes) Jon Gruden’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Callahan did such a terrible job coaching in Super Bowl XXXVII that his own players, specifically Hall of Famers Jerry Rice and Tim Brown both publicly accused him of throwing the game.

So, yes, Callahan is garbage, sure, but compared to Jay Gruden, he’s good garbage. Like recyclable or at least environmentally friendly. Jay Gruden is the kind of trash that gets trapped inside a sea turtle’s nose or chokes a raccoon to death.

Washington is awful, but Miami is even worse, but at least you can respect it. They’re actively trying to suck. They’ve made the trades and moves to make it happen and, regardless of what anyone in their organization claims, they’re tanking this season for draft picks. And, really, that’s good. It’ll pay off for them in the long run, especially when Tom Brady retires in 2057.

So we have a better coached Redskins squad against the (purposefully) worst team in the NFL. And we have a field goal with the hook. This looked like a solid bet from Tuesday on, in a game that could have easily ended 6-0 and got you paid.

And when you laid down that money you’d earmarked for a summer vacation with the kids to Weeki Wachee Springs, you were feeling great. You were feeling even better in the after the third quarter when Washington led 17-3.

Then, disaster happened. To open the fourth quarter, the Redskins missed a 55-yard field goal. Not a gimme, by any stretch, but it’s still going to haunt you because right after the miss, Fitzpatrick took the field, his face glistening with Honest Amish beard oil.

Nine plays later, the Dolphins were celebrating a touchdown. But you were still good. 17-10 is plenty of space to cover 3.5.

Washington promptly went three-and-out on their next two positions and punted after seven plays on their third. With a third chance to tie the game, Fitzpatrick didn’t waste it like he did that bedazzled beard comb his wife got him for Christmas.

Nope, Fitzy took the Dolphins right down the field and into the endzone with an 11-yard TD pass to Devante Parker. Miami went for two, but didn’t get and still lost, but none of it mattered.

Even if they’d kicked the extra point and taken the game to overtime, all you’d have done is suffered through more horrible minutes of a terrible game, regardless of who eventually kicked (or missed) the field goal to win it. Your money was gone.

There would be no trip to Weeki Wachee Springs. Maybe if you pick up another shift or two, you can get the kids to Bengston’s Pumpkin Farm, but don’t make any promises.

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