NFL PRESEASON: THURSDAY & FRIDAY PREVIEWS & PICKS

BY ADAM GREENE

We have our first full week of preseason football with which to practice our own wagering. Because it’s still real football, we have the odds, lines and totals with which to make this dream real.

Here are my picks for Thursday and Friday’s NFL Preseason games.

THURSDAY

HOUSTON TEXANS AT NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (+1.5, O/U: 38.5)

We all want to see CJ Stroud and I’m guessing we will for maybe a quarter. After that, it’ll be a little Davis Mills then a lot of Case Keenum and, honestly, that’s not the worst preseason quarterback room. They’ll face off against Mac Jones and Bailey Zappe, and maybe a quarterback battle for that job. After that it’s Trace McSorely and Malik Cunningham, two guys that play a completely different style of ball than any QB that’s taken snaps for New England in the last two decades. I’m going with the spread and Texans head coach DeMeco Ryans needs the good news more. Texans 23, Patriots 20

MINNESOTA VIKINGS AT SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (-5, O/U: 35)

Unless Kevin O’Connell has decided to shun his training completely, you won’t see a single key Vikings starter in the preseason, especially everybody’s new favorite dorkball dad, Kirk Cousins. Pete Carroll is so old school he writes his play on a chalk board slate, so you’ll get a little Geno Smith and a lot of Drew Lock. That should be more than enough to wrap this one up. Seahawks 24, Vikings 13

FRIDAY

NEW YORK GIANTS AT DETROIT LIONS (+3, O/U: 36.5)

This game is more intriguing than it looks. And, yes, I’m saying that about a preseason game. We’re betting here. We’re not talking about overall game quality, though after the spring and summer of minor league football we’ve endured, this should all feel like getting served filet mignon after a steady diet of lukewarm Hot Pockets. We won’t see a lot of Jared Goff or Daniel Jones, but the quarterback matchup between the Giants’ Tyrod Taylor and Detroit’s Teddy Bridgewater is a real one and will be worth watching. After those guys take a seat, the Lions can toss Nate Sudfeld out there, a guy who’s started actual NFL games against New York’s Tommy DeVito, a guy that spent the last six seasons playing college football and isn’t Stetson Bennett. But the real question we all need to ask, is this Tommy DeVito related to Danny DeVito? The internet is no help, but maybe a sideline reporter Friday night can help us all solve this mystery. Lions 20, Giants 14

PITTSBURGH STEELERS AT TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (pk, O/U: 39)

Seeing this game as a pick em should be an insult to the Steelers’ QB room. Sure, starter Kenny Pickett won’t see a lot of time, but the two guys directly behind him on the depth chart — Mitchell Trubisky and Mason Rudolph, have both won actual football games that counted before. The No. 4 quarterback Tanner Morgan? Well, I had no idea he existed until today, but he probably won’t see action until the fourth quarter. Meanwhile, Tampa Bay is going through a quarterback battle between Baker Mayfield and Kyle Trask and no one is really talking about it. That’s not a good thing. You’d think a guy would have separated himself by now. John Wolford, who has started and won for the Los Angeles Rams and holds a Super Bowl ring because of it, is the third string guy, but his arm is weaker than a watered down White Claw. Steelers 27, Buccaneers 16

GREEN BAY PACKERS AT CINCINNATI BENGALS (+5, O/U: 35)

Like the Minnesota Vikings’ Kevin O’Connell, but Packers head coach Matt LaFleur and Bengals head coach Zac Taylor are Sean McVay disciples and have left their starters out of their preseason game plans since being hired at their respective positions. LaFleur might not be so inclined to do that this time, as new starting quarterback Jordan Love needs all the help he can get. After him, there’s a precipitous drop off with Sean Clifford and the USFL’s Alex McGough as the No. 3. For the Bengals, Joe Burrow needs to be kept in bubble wrap, especially after tweaking his calf a couple of weeks ago. His back up is Trevor Siemian, again, a guy that’s won real NFL games before. It’s Jake Browning and Reid Sinnett after that, but I think Siemien will make the difference. And, even though he needs the work, I’m not sure LaFleur will put Love onto the field. Bengals 17, Packers 16

ATLANTA FALCONS AT MIAMI DOLPHINS (+2.5, O/U: 35.5)

While the only relationship Mike McDaniel has with Sean McVay is being part of a coaching staff in San Francisco that frequently defeated the Rams wunderkind head coach, it’s doubtful he too will put his starting quarterback, Tua Tagovailoa, at risk in the preseason. Behind him is Mike White, a guy who nearly caused a QB controversy in New York until he showed he could suck just as bad as Zach Wilson. Skylar Thompson, at No. 3, nearly knocked off the Buffalo Bills in the playoffs last season. For the Falcons, Desmond Ridder will see some action, but the majority of the snaps will be taken by Taylor Heinicke and Logan Woodside. I like Heinicke a lot, and he’ll be working with a better second and third string supporting cast, especially at running back, than his Dolphins counterparts. Falcons 19, Dolphins 16

WASHINGTON COMMANDERS AT CLEVELAND BROWNS (-3. O/U: 38)

How much Sam Howell are we going to see in this one? How much do we really want to see? There’s every chance that the second-string guy, Jacoby Brissett, on the Commanders roster is their best quarterback. Hell, there’s a real reason to think Jake Fromm, the No. 3, is just as good as Howell. That’s not a compliment for Fromm. Cleveland might break the seal on Deshaun Watson for a drive or two in this one, and will likely play Joshua Dobbs some, after holding them both out in the Hall of Fame Game. Dorian Thompson-Robinson gave us all something to talk about Friday morning after the first preseason game and he just might do it again. Browns 24, Commanders 19

DENVER BRONCOS AT ARIZONA CARDINALS (+5. O/U: 37.5)

Sean Payton never had an issue playing starters a little in the preseason and his work with Russell Wilson, and installing his offense, is just beginning. Not that Wilson will play a lot, but a couple of series wouldn’t surprise me. Once Wilson sits, the Broncos aren’t in rough shape behind him with Jarrett Stidham and the XFL’s Ben DiNucci, who looked good in the spring. As for the Cardinals, Kyler Murray at least has an excuse to try to reel off Call of Duty Killtaculars rehabbing his knee and I’m not sure how eager new Arizona head coach Jonathan Gannon will be to put his primary back up, Colt McCoy, in harm’s way considering he might have to start 75 percent of the season. I expect to see a lot of Clayton Tune and David Blough, which means this one probably won’t be close. Broncos 23, Cardinals 9

Last week

Straight up: 1-0

Against the spread: 1-0

Preseason

Straight up: 1-0

Against the spread: 1-0

Follow Adam Greene on Twitter @TheFirstMan.

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