WHAT WE LEARNED: NFL WEEK 17

BY ADAM GREENE

WE HAD A REAL BLACK MONDAY

Back in the olden days of the NFL, teams that were looking to make a coaching change waited until the Monday after their final game to announce they had parted ways with their former coach. In recent years, that’s not been the case as so many guys found themselves rightfully unemployed at some point during the season and the rest were immediately delivered their walking papers Sunday night before the closing whistle of their final game stopped echoing.

But not this time. With multiple heads on the block, by the time 9 p.m. EST rolled around Sunday night something weird was happening. No one had been fired. Ten minutes later Adam Gase was shot out the airlock by the New York Jets, but all the other head coaches on the chopping block made it through the night.

Monday morning that all changed. Any reprieve a night’s sleep offered Doug Marrone of the Jacksonville Jaguars and Anthony Lynn of the Los Angeles Chargers was over as they were both shown the nearest trap door and the NFL’s job markets were officially open.

And unless Jerry Jones is pulling one of his weeklong waiting periods to fire Mike McCarthy, this is it.

Ultimately, Gase’s neck was in the guillotine for weeks and his firing was just a matter of processing the papers. There was a chance that Marrone could have survived if the Jags had done anything past the opener, but once they locked in the No. 1 overall pick, they became too good a job to keep a floundering guy at the helm.

Lynn’s Chargers team finished 7-9, but it’s been apparent for the last two years that he’s just not the person to lead this team. Los Angeles, with its history of wasting Philip Rivers with horrible head coaches, was right to send him packing.

The three newly unemployed coaches join former Detroit Lions head coach Matt Patricia, former Houston Texans GM/head coach Bill O’Brien and former Atlanta Falcons head coach Dan Quinn in the bread queue. So what’s going to happen with these guys?

First off, they’ll all get jobs somewhere. An NFL coach is like an STD. They’re very hard to get rid of, no matter how poorly they do. Lynn’s defensive coordinator, Gus Bradley, was one of the worst head coaches in NFL history. And that’s not just hyperbole. It’s science. He has the fourth worst win percentage in league history behind only Steve Spagnuolo, Hue Jackson and Bert Bell, who coached during World War II when the only players he could put on the field were 4F guys rejected by the draft. Jon Gruden is probably going to hire him as his new DC in Las Vegas.

O’Brien and Patricia likely have standing return jobs in New England, especially if Josh McDaniels bails for one of these new head coaching positions. Quinn will get another chance as a defensive coordinator and Marrone will likely end up on a staff somewhere as an offensive assistant. Gase is the only guy that might have trouble landing an NFL job this year. It’s hard to sell yourself as an offensive guru when you’ve not run a top offense since Peyton Manning was in the league.

That being said, he could very well land a top OC job at the college level. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him take over for Steve Sarkisian at Alabama. Nick Saban loves to reclaim guys from the trash heap after all.

Considering that Gase and Manning are friends, would the University of Tennessee be willing to plug him in and load current (and failed) offensive coordinator Jim Chaney into the nearest trebuchet?

Lynn too could be looking at an offensive assistant job as a running backs or tight ends coach. Personally, while I think he was a bad NFL head coach, I think he might turn out to be a pretty good college football head coach. An NFL head coach is a statistician, tactician and a CEO. A college football coach can be a dad. I think that’s a better fit for Lynn coaching and leadership style.

WHO’S ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK NEXT YEAR?

Obviously, McCarthy tops the list since not only should he be fired today, he should have never been hired by the Cowboys in the first place. The Cincinnati Bengals will need to pull a Cleveland Browns next year for Zac Taylor to remain employed. Vic Fangio has one more season to save his job and, at some point, Gruden has to get the ax. He’s a missed two point conversion away from three straight losing campaigns.

Even after this year, I don’t think Doug Pederson is in real danger. That Super Bowl championship isn’t far in the rearview and, NFL punditry aside, tanking the WFT game was the right call for the No. 6 overall pick. Mike Zimmer has one more year to do something in Minnesota, tops.

In spite of making the playoffs this year, I don’t see a .500 Matt Nagy remaining employed in Chicago. If the Panthers finish below .500 again, Matt Rhule could be heading back to the NCAA in 2022 as well.

On top of that, Bill Belichick could call it quits at any moment. He’s got nothing left to prove except that he couldn’t have won anything without Tom Brady on his team. At this point, if he doesn’t get the Patriots back in the mix, he’ll just be damaging his legacy.

SEND THE CALL TO VOICEMAIL

With this many open jobs there are going to be plenty of multiple-time losers vying for them and trying to be this year’s Mike McCarthy. O’Brien is probably in the Jets’ DMs as I write this.

In addition to him, here are other guys to swipe left on as they come upon your NFL head coach Tinder screen; Steve Spagnuolo, Jeff Fisher, Rex Ryan, John Fox, Chuck Pagano and Jim Caldwell.

Do not hire any of these men as your head coach. Though Spags is a fine DC and Caldwell would be a good offensive coordinator anywhere. Some guys just aren’t meant to be NFL head coaches. There’s nothing wrong with that.

PICK UP THE PHONE

While there are plenty of retreads I’d leave on the side of the highway, there are some guys that are deserving of a second look as an NFL head coach.

Guys like former Cincinnati Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis and current Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive coordinator Todd Bowles. I also wouldn’t be afraid to give Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh a call.

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