USFL WEEK 6 PREVIEW & PICKS

BY ADAM GREENE

We’ve officially crossed the Rubicon of our present USFL season and this has been a unique campaign already. Five games in, five of the eight teams are under .500, all with the exact same 2-3 record. Of the three teams with winning marks, not a single one of them plays in the USFL North. That’s right, all the power looks to be in the south. For now.

That could lead to what, originally, looked like a problem for the other spring league, the XFL, with a winning team sitting home for the playoffs (in this case, the popular St. Louis Battlehawks) and a team with a losing record, the Arlington Renegades, making it into the bracket. Only the Renegades flipped the script after punching their ticket to the postseason and. at 4-6, and won the whole thing. Mainly thanks to not staying pat at quarterback and bringing in former USFL New Jersey Generals QB and Las Vegas Vipers cast off Luis Perez.

So, anything can still happen and we’ve got a league to look over and the odds, lines and totals with which to make everything just a little more interesting. What we might really notice, considering how it can change so quickly in these spring leagues, is our eight team power rankings have gone through a near complete reshuffle in a single weekend.

It could get wild before the season wraps in July. Let’s take a look and pick some games.

USFL POWER RANKINGS

1. HOUSTON GAMBLERS (3-2)

While I had a terrible week in the picks, the Gamblers were the one team that didn’t let me down. The former USFL doormats are now atop the rankings after a monster victory thanks to a ridiculous come from behind victory over the Birmingham Stallions and a New Orleans Breakers loss. Last week: No. 3

2. NEW ORLEANS BREAKERS (4-1)

Every team can lay an egg once in a while, but for the best team in the league with its most potent offense, managed just 10 points against the Memphis Showboats, that wasn’t an egg. Unless a dog can “lay” an egg on the sidewalk outside the local greenway. Last week: No. 1

3. BIRMINGHAM STALLIONS (3-2)

Last week’s too close victory over the Pittsburgh Maulers was exactly the bad omen it appeared to be. Birmingham lost a tough one to the Houston Gamblers, and that’s why that team is now atop the list. Last week: No. 2

4. MEMPHIS SHOWBOATS (2-3)

If you want parity, how about five USFL teams all with the same record. Because that’s what we have as the Showboats pulled off the biggest upset since the USFL came back into existence, handing the New Orleans Breakers their first loss of the year. Last week: No. 6

5. PHILADELPHIA STARS (2-3)

Well, just when you think you have the Stars figured out, they come out on the winning end of a game. This time, it was against the team they denied a chance to play for the USFL title a year ago, outlasting a late quarter comeback from the New Jersey Generals to double their season win total at the halfway point of the year. Last week: No. 7

6. PITTSBURGH MAULERS (2-3)

You know, I didn’t think the Maulers would go winless, but never in my wildest expectations could I have imagined they’d win two games in three weeks, let alone the entire 2023 season. We’re halfway through the year and 2022’s worst football team on Planet Earth is tied in the standings with five other franchises. Last week: No. 8

7. NEW JERSEY GENERALS (2-3)

This is quite a fall for the team that finished last season with the second best record in the USFL. There’s still half a season left and the Generals are lucky that, literally, 67 percent of the league has the same record. It’s not over, but it’d be nice for Jersey to get its act together in the second half of the campaign. Last week: No. 4

8. MICHIGAN PANTHERS (2-3)

Last season, in the battle for the worst team here on Earth-1218, the Panthers were victorious, knocking off the Pittsburgh Maulers to finish as the second worst team on the planet. After dropping last Saturday’s contest to the Maulers, it’s not looking good for a repeat. And you can’t even blame Jeff Fisher for this one. After a 2-0 start, Michigan has dropped three straight and it ain’t looking real good this week. Last week: No. 5

SATURDAY

PITTSBURGH MAULERS AT MEMPHIS SHOWBOATS (+2.5, O/U: 41.5)

If old media still existed, we’d all shout “Stop the Presses” if anyone under 30 still knew what a printing press was. The Maulers have officially doubled their win total from a season ago and tripled their franchise win total with am emphatic 23-7 victory over the Michigan Panthers last Saturday. Pittsburgh’s offense scored in every quarter and held the Panthers off the scoreboard completely after the first. Troy Williams finished 15 of 19 passing for 184 yards for two touchdowns and an interception. He led the team in rushing with 10 carries for 59 yards and a TD. No other ballcarrier gained more than 22 yards. Bailey Gaither caught four passes for 89 yards. Isiah Hennie caught six balls for 62 yards and a TD. Mason Stokke hauled in two passes for eight yards and a score. Kyahva Tezino finished the game with seven tackles and a pass defense. Dale Warre, Bryce Torneden and Eli Walker all recorded six tackles apiece, with Warren adding a tackle for a loss. Christopher Okoye had four tackles, one sack and four for a loss. Nasir Player had four tackles, half a sack and a tackle for a loss. Arnold Tarpley III had four tackles, one interception and a pass defense.

In a result no one saw coming, the Memphis Showboats made it through a defensive struggle against what had previously been the USFL’s best team, knocking off the New Orleans Breakers 17-10 last Sunday. Cole Kelley was 24 of 36 for 224 yards, one touchdown and an interception in the win. Kerrith Whyte didn’t have the best day running the ball, averaging 2.1 yards per carry with 14 rushes for 29 yards. Jay Jay Wilson caught five passes for 64 yards. Vinny Papale hauled in six receptions for 62 yards. Osirus Mitchell had four grabs for 51 yards. Troy Warner racked up 13 tackles on defense. Anthony Butler had seven tackles. Jermaine Kelly, Jr. finished with six tackles and a pass defense. Jeff McCulloch and Delrick Abrams Jr. each had five tackles apiece. McCulloch added one sack and one tackle for a loss. Greg Reaves had four tackles and a sack. Jeremiah Valoaga ended his day with three tackles and 1.5 sacks. Kyree Woods had three tackles as well with an interception and one pass defended.  

A couple of weeks ago, this game looked like hot garbage. Now, it might just be warm garbage. I don’t feel good about this pick, but if I flipped it, I think it’d feel worse. Showboats 17, Maulers 14

BIRMINGHAM STALLIONS AT MICHIGAN PANTHERS (+5.5, O/U: 44.5)

A complete fourth quarter collapse cost the Birmingham Stallions last Saturday as they surrendered 20 points in the final 15 minutes to the Houston Gamblers to fall 27-20. Alex McGough was 24 of 37 for 209 yards, two touchdowns and an interception in the loss. He led the team with six carries for 76 yards. CJ Marable rushed nine times for 43 yards. Jace Sternberger caught four passes for 41 yards. Elijah Sullivan wrapped the game with nine tackles. Christian McFarland had eight tackles and a pass defense. Willie Yarbary had seven tackles. Quentin Poling ended his day with five takedowns. Willie Henry recorded three tackles, one sack and one tackle for a loss.

After starting the season strong and showing the resiliency of a franchise that jettisons Jeff Fisher from its facility, the Panthers have fallen back to earth in the worst way. They dropped their third game in a row, this time in embarrassing fashion, losing 23-7 to the Pittsburgh Maulers, the official worst football team in upon the face of all creation in 2022. I’m not sure they play football on other planets, but if they do, I got to feel the Reticulian Bleep Blorps would be a touchdown favorite over Michigan at this point. Carson Strong and Josh Love split time at quarterback for the Panthers once again with the same results as the previous two occasions. Strong was 13 of 23 for 94 yards, no touchdowns and an interception. Love was 8 of 12 for 68 yards, a TD and a pick. Strong added three scrambles for 10 yards. Reggie Corbin led the team on the ground with nine carries for a whopping 11 yards. If you’re doing the math, and there’s no reason to, that amounts to 1.2 yards per carry. You should be able to double that by simply immediately tripping forward after being handed the football. Ishmael Hyman caught four passes for 43 yards. Trey Quinn had five receptions for 40 yards. Cole Hikutini caught one ball for a five yard touchdown. The defense shined statistically, as they should since they were on the field the entire game. Frank Ginda finished with 14 tackles, one interception and two passes defended. Terry Myrick had nine tackles. Breeland Speaks recorded seven takedowns, 2.5 sacks and two tackles for a loss. Sean Mahone had six takes and a tackle for a loss.

Birmingham had a bad quarter a week ago and it cost them. Michigan is having a bad franchise existence. It’s a bummer they’ve fallen back down to the bottom of the league, but we live in reality and must pick our games accordingly. Stallions 24, Panthers 16

SUNDAY

NEW ORLEANS BREAKERS AT PHILADELPHIA STARS (+7.5, O/U: 48)

For the first time this season, the Breakers’ offense stalled out and couldn’t push the team to victory. New Orleans was held scoreless all through the first half, falling to the Memphis Showboats 17-10 last Sunday. McLeod Bethel-Thompson was 25 of 35 for 206 yards, one touchdown and an interception in the loss. Wes Hills rushed 14 times for just 38 yards but added seven receptions for 46 yards. Jonathan Adams caught four passes for 51 yards. Jerod Fernandez racked up nine tackles and a tackle for a loss. Jamar Johnson had eight tackles and a pass defense. Vontae Diggs, Shaheed Salmon and Jary Elder all got seven tackles apiece, with Diggs and Elder getting a pass defense. Salman added a tackle for a loss.

Hey, look at the Stars. Not the ones above your head, but the Philadelphia Stars who decided not to suck for a week, knocking off the team, again, whose season they ruined a year ago when they held off a late charge from the New Jersey Generals to win 24-21 last Sunday. Case Cookus still didn’t light it up, but didn’t turn the ball over, finishing 18 of 30 for 125 yards, no touchdowns and no interceptions. He added four scrambles for 21 yards. Matt Colburn II had a rough day running the ball. He “led” the team, if you can say that, with 15 carries for 22 yards, just a little bit better than Corbin’s 1.2 yards per carry for the Panthers above. So, again we have a “leading” rusher who averaged 4.5 feet per carry when he, himself, is 5 feet, 1o inches tall. I really think this “falling forward with the football” rushing strategy might work better than what these teams are doing. It was some bad football, but, hey, Philly still won. Colburn II added two receptions for 11 yards. Jordan Suell caught four passes for 32 yards. Pro Wells had three grabs for 30 yards. Cody Brown finished with nine tackles and a pass defense. Joey Alfieri had eight tackles. Amani Dennis and Gabriel Sewell, Jr. had seven tackles apiece, with Dennis adding a pass defense. Adam Rodrigez, Mazzi Wilkins, Joel Dublanko, LaDarius Wiley and Stanfrd Samuels III all ended their nights with four tackles apiece. Wilkins nabbed a pick and a pass defense and Wiley had a pass defense.

I find it hard to believe, barring some injury, that New Orleans can be shut down for two weeks in a row. And, if there’s a team I can’t trust to bring it week to week it’s Philadelphia. Breakers 33, Stars 23

NEW JERSEY GENERALS AT HOUSTON GAMBLERS (+6, O/U: 45.5)

Jersey made a late game comeback, but fell to its old nemesis, the Philadelphia Stars, 24-21, last Sunday. Kyle Lauletta had an accurate day but didn’t put up a lot of yardage for the Generals. He was 10 of 12 for 111 yards, no touchdowns and an interception. He did have a one yard rushing score. De’Andre Johnson was 7 of 12 for 79 yards and led the team rushing with seven carries for 62 yards and a TD. Trey Williams had eight carries for 52 yards. Darius Victor rushed 12 times for 49 yards. Alonzo Moore hauled in five passes for 58 yards. J’Mon Moore also hauled in five balls as well for 38 yards. Chris Orr ended his afternoon with 10 tackles. Paris Ford had eight tackles. D’Juan Hines had seven tackles with one pass defense. Toby Johnson had six tackles, 1.5 sacks and one tackle for a loss. Kolin Hill had three tackles, one sack, one tackle for a loss and one pass defended. Hercules Mata’afa finished with two tackles, one sack and one tackle for a loss.

Houston got the biggest win of its short USFL 2.0 existence, defeating the 2022 USFL Champion Birmingham Stallions last week, thanks to a huge come from behind victory which saw them put up 20 points in the fourth quarter to win 27-20. Terry Wilson was 9 of 14 in the win for just 117 yards and a touchdown with no interceptions. Montell Cozart got in at QB as well, going 2 of 6 for 15 yards. Mark Thompson rushed 16 times for 78 yards and three touchdowns. Terry Wilson had six carries for 41 yards. Anthony Ratliff-Williams caught just one pass, but it was for a 50 yard touchdown. Justin Hall hauled in six passes for 46 yards. Kahlan Tolson led the team with seven tackles, one for a loss and one pass defended. Dayan Lake had six tackles and two passes defended. Manny Bunch, Jeremiah Johnson, Donald Rutledge, Jr., JT Tyler and Reggie Walker all recorded five tackles apiece. Ronheen Bingham ended his night with three tackles, one sack and one for a loss.

New Jersey just can’t seem to keep it together, meanwhile Houston just finds a way to win. That comeback last week is all in vain if you can’t build on it in the following game. Gamblers 30, Generals 23

Last week

Straight up: 1-3

Against the spread: 1-3

Season

Straight up: 6-6

Against the spread: 5-7

Follow Adam Greene on Twitter @TheFirstMan.

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