CRAZY NFL PARLAY: WEEK 4

BY ADAM GREENE

We wrap up the week as we always do with our favorite activity, turning pocket change into enough cash to fill Scrooge McDuck’s Moneybin. Yes, it’s the Crazy NFL Parlay, where we take the money you’d spend on a Bacanator combo at Wendy’s and try to turn it into a Harley Davidson motorcycle.

If this is your first foray into the Crazy NFL Parlay, here’s how it works. I don’t just toss beanbags into a random corn hole here. No, I am aiming at specific corn holes. The universe’s natural state is entropy and here we’re trying to monetize it. We are strapping a saddle on the whirlwind and attempting to ride it. There are no blind darts involved. They say any team can win on any given Sunday so why can’t we pocket some cash in the process? It happens every single week, the upsets and shockers. So, let’s shock our accountants while we’re at it.

With all that said, here are the handpicked selections I’ve made for you for Week 4;

Atlanta Falcons +140

Miami Dolphins +130

Carolina Panthers +180

Baltimore Ravens +111

Houston Texans +128

Tampa Bay Buccaneers +156

Tennessee Titans +122

New England Patriots +230

If you’ve read my Friday Afternoon Quarterback, Sunday Night Football and Monday Night Football previews, then you already know a few of these “upsets” have already caught my eye.

I like the Dolphins to keep their streak going against the Buffalo Bills. I think the Ravens will absolutely embarrass the Cleveland Browns. I do not like the New Orleans Saints’ chances at all without Derek Carr with Baker Mayfield and the Bucs coming to town.

It’s the rest of the games we have to talk ourselves into, so let’s get at it.

The Falcons play the Jacksonville Jaguars, who looked downright atrocious last week against the Texans, in London. Would you be shocked to see Buzz Lightyear, I mean Bijan Robinson, run all over them at Wembley?

How broken are the Minnesota Vikings? Broken enough to lose to a Carolina Panthers team playing at home with Bryce Young potentially having a break out game against one of the league’s worst defenses?

The Texans can score points. The Pittsburgh Steelers might have the worst offensive playcaller not named Mike McCarthy in the league. This game might set a new record in combined sacks.

Considering the Titans pass rush and the Cincinnati Bengals’ issues with Joe Burrow’s calf, I can easily see Justin Simmons wreaking havoc there in a low scoring game in Nashville.

And, finally, It’s Bill Belichick vs Mike McCarthy. If I have to explain why the Pats might knock off the Dallas Cowboys after writing that sentence, welcome to NFL football, my friend ,considering this will probably be the first game you’ve ever watched.

A winning $10 parlay bet on these eight moneylines pays $13,935.09

Follow Adam Greene on Twitter @TheFirstMan.

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