CRAZY NFL PARLAY: WEEK 12

BY ADAM GREENE

Oh man, our Week 12 Crazy Parlay was a near hit as I pooled 10 moneylines and over-unders that nearly broke the bank. While we were one game away back in Week 3, but we were just two wins last week from a $21,892.53 payout.

Yeah, 8 of 10. But we can’t let getting that close again deter us from our ultimate goal, that of turning a single $10 bill bearing the image of our first United States Secretary of the Treasury and Tony Award winning musical subject Alexander Hamilton into two matching Honda Powersports ATVs.

This week, we have the perfect moneylines with which to build our parlay, with plenty of legitimate upset opportunities abounding.

If this is your first foray into the Crazy Parlay, don’t fret. I can guide you like a Sherpa with installed GPS through it. We aren’t just blindly swinging our bat at the piñata, hoping to either nail it and release all the candy, or bust our uncle in the balls to create an hilarious familial memory that will last forever. Oh no. We come into this with a real plan.

We see the wackadoo nature of the NFL. We know that “Any Given Sunday” isn’t just a colloquialism, it’s a religious belief. We are capitalizing on chaos. Cashing in on entropy.

So, with that in mind…

Here’s what I’ve picked out for you this week:

Titans (+260)

Jets (+120)

Colts (+140)

Jaguars (+115)

Steelers (+160)

Broncos (+125)

Vikings (+150)

Packers (+110)

If you’ve already checked out this weeks’ Friday Afternoon Quarterback (and, as always, you should. We’ll hold your place in line until you get back), then you know I already like the Titans, Colts and Vikings to win outright.

That just leaves five more games to talk ourselves into.

The New York Jets currently hold the No. 2 overall pick in the draft. Last year, they had the top pick until they blew it with a couple of wins. They play the Houston Texans this week and a Jets victory could knock them down as low as sixth in April’s draft. And Zach Wilson is back, for whatever that’s worth. Is it ridiculous for Wilson, making his triumphant return, to knock his team out of drafting at two with a dumb win, the very reason he’s their quarterback instead of Trevor Lawrence?

Speaking of the Jacksonville Jaguars, they currently pick third. The can screw up their draft positioning too with a win and they just so happen to be playing the Atlanta Falcons this week, a team that has turned losing into an artform.

The Cincinnati Bengals knocked off the Las Vegas Raiders last week after two bad losses to the Cleveland Browns and aforementioned Jets. The Pittsburgh Steelers have TJ Watt and Minkah Fitzpatrick back and, can you trust Cincy to sweep the Steelers in a single season?

There’s no telling which Los Angeles Chargers team will show up to face the Denver Broncos, a team that’s won two of its last three and is playing at home.

And, lastly, the Green Bay Packers with Aaron Rodgers COVID/Fractured toe delivered an old school beat down to the Los Angeles Rams in the playoffs less than a year ago at Lambeau. This game is a coin flip and it’s not far fetched to see it happen again as none of the Rams’ three losses have been close.

A $10 parlay bet on these moneylines pays $12,541.34.

Follow Adam Greene on Twitter @TheFirstMan

The NFL season is rolling along and the Week 12 Schedule is up and taking bets at BetOnline.AG.

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