CRAZY NFL PARLAY: WEEK SEVEN

BY ADAM GREENE

This season the correct Crazy NFL Parlay has eluded us, but it’s not stopped us from trying. Mainly because the investment is so low, I usually go with $5, which most of us blow on whipped cream covered iced coffees once a day. But on Sunday, we’re tossing it at a dream. A dream that can only be achieved by linking numerous football games together and hoping for the precise turn of events that can turn pocket change into a new room addition on your home.

Such are the things that dreams are made of.

We’ve got a lot of low odds games this week of relatively evenly matched opponents and that’s a problem. To get the Crazy Parlay to pay off, we need big plus numbers. In order to get there in Week Seven, we’re going to have to Parlay a lot of games together.

But on the bright side, because these games are so close, the odds of us hitting it might go up. I haven’t done the math on that, but go with me. At the end of the day, the Crazy Parlay is all about the gut and I’ve just taken a whole jar of probiotics.

Here’s what I’ve picked out for you this week:

Bengals +160

Lions +117

Panthers +265

Texans +165

Steelers +105

49ers +125

Cardinals +159

Bears +215

If you’ve already checked out this week’s Friday Afternoon Quarterback, then you know I’ve picked the Houston Texans to upset the Green Bay Packers. For the rest of these to hit, I’d have to be wrong with my other picks. I know, that is all but inconceivable.

But I’ve only had some so-so weeks in October, so if there’s a month to bet against myself, this is it.

All these games in the plus-100 range are between a -1 or a -3.5 game, beginning with the Cincinnati Bengals who host the Cleveland Browns Sunday. The last time these two teams met, Cleveland won 35-30 in a Thursday Night Football shootout. Joe Burrow is better now than he was then. Baker Mayfield, on the other hand, seems to have a giant cartoon question mark hanging over his head every game. Last week, against the Steelers, Mayfield might as well have stayed on the bus. For the Browns, this is the kind of game a contender wins to bounce back. Are they a contender? Are we sure?

The Detroit Lions are playing at the Atlanta Falcons, with a head coach that has to keep winning to keep his job. Atlanta has stopped anyone on defense this season.

The Pittsburgh Steelers at the Titans is a coin flip, as both are undefeated and vying for the coveted AFC runner up award handed out by the Kansas City Chiefs in the AFC Championship game. If the San Francisco 49ers show up with the same gameplan they ran to perfection against the Los Angeles Rams last week, they could easily dust off a cold New England Patriots squad. Last year the Arizona Cardinals played toe-to-toe with the Seattle Seahawks in both games. Seattle has to lose sometime and the Cards could be due.

The bigger payouts might be harder sells, but both Michael Thomas and Emmanuel Sanders are out for the New Orleans Saints against the plucky Carolina Panthers. The Chicago Bears and Los Angeles Rams are 1-1 under their current head coaching regimes and both games were absolute grinds. The Rams couldn’t win in those conditions last week against the 49ers. It won’t be any easier against the Bears, led by Nick Foles who is 2-0 against his former team.

If you hit on this lot, $5 turns into $10,263.06 and you can start planning out that new man cave with the red felt covered pool table you’ve been dreaming about since you first saw one on Season Two of Ballers.

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