FRIDAY AFTERNOON QUARTERBACK: NFL WEEK 14

BY ADAM GREENE

As I predicted, the Minnesota Vikings all but ruined Ben Roethlisberger’s chance to go out on his shield in the postseason with what turned out to be a pretty terrific game.

The Vikes took it 36-28, but not before surrendering 21 points in the fourth quarter as Kirk Cousins had a near complete second half meltdown, throwing two picks and completing just one pass in the entire third quarter.

Of course, the Steelers are still mathematically alive in the AFC playoff race, but they would need to win out against what might be the toughest final month schedule in the league. They host the Tennessee Titans next week, then travel to Kansas City to face the Chiefs, then host the Cleveland Browns followed by wrapping the season up at the Baltimore Ravens.

You can’t count Pittsburgh out, but realistically they could absolutely lose all those games and will probably be the underdog in at least three of them.

As for the Vikings, this is why their fanbase has to be so miserable. You don’t think of them that way, but outside of Detroit or maybe Cincinnati, who has harder luck than Minnesota? I mean, the missed game winning kicks alone should be its own 30 for 30 documentary.

They held on this time, kept their postseason hopes alive and if my picks below (regardless of what happens with the Sunday Night and Monday Night selections) pan out, they would hold down the No. 7 seed in the NFC by the time Carrie Underwood takes the stage in her Michelin tires dress.

Ironically, it all comes down to Mike Zimmer’s old team, the Cincinnati Bengals. Zimmer was the defensive coordinator for Cincy under Marvin Lewis from 2008-2013, which was a pretty solid run for the team. If Zimmer does get canned by Minnesota at the end of the year, it wouldn’t shock me to see him back in Cincinnati as the DC in 2022.

But he’s still playing for something, mainly his job. How much he wants it is anyone’s guess, as the stress of watching the game tying touchdown pass, perfectly thrown by a first ballot Pro Football Hall of Famer barely go incomplete in the end zone thanks to a terrific arm swing by your five time Pro Bowl safety, might take a few years off your life. Or at least make you give up caffeine altogether.

We have some key byes this week, with nothing keeping the New England Patriots from holding down the top seed in the AFC, regardless of what happens Sunday. The Indianapolis Colts can slide into the seventh seed on their week off if the Buffalo Bills fall to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Byes: Indianapolis Colts, Miami Dolphins, New England Patriots, Philadelphia Eagles

LAS VEGAS RAIDERS AT KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (-9.5, O/U: 48)

The Raiders put up a hell of a fight, but it’s time to go ahead and hit the Madden sim button on the rest of the season. Clean house, get this insane year behind them and start over with a new head coach. And if I was Mark Davis, after I got a haircut, I’d fire general manager Mike Mayock too. Put him back on the NFL Network where he can compare every quarterback coming out in the draft to Matt Ryan again. I like Kansas City to win, but with the offense sputtering along, I don’t care much for this spread. Chiefs 24, Raiders 20

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS AT NEW YORK JETS (+5, O/U: 42.5)

This is, easily, the worst game of the week. I usually make a joke about Scott Hanson preparing apologies when he has to cut to this game on NFL Red Zone, but considering a team has to actually be in the red zone to get featured on the channel, he might be safe. Taysom Hill gets another start for New Orleans, after tossing four interceptions last week and Zach Wilson suits up again for New York. I’m taking the home team here in the “upset,” but I don’t’ feel great about it. Jets 17, Saints 14

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS AT TENNESSEE TITANS (-8.5, O/U: 43.5)

The Titans have brought it this year when facing teams with winning records, but have stumbled when facing squads like the Jaguars. Tennessee switched it up last week, getting knocked around by the New England Patriots. Maybe that means they can take a team like Jacksonville to the woodshed. Titans 30, Jaguars 13

BALTIMORE RAVENS AT CLEVELAND BROWNS (-3, O/U: 43)

Cleveland had a bye to prepare for a Ravens team missing pretty much every good player on the offensive roster outside of Lamar Jackson and Mark Andrews. This will all make it even more ridiculous when Baltimore crushes them. Ravens 31, Browns 16

ATLANTA FALCONS AT CAROLINA PANTHERS (-2.5, O/U: 42)

This will be the most prepared Cam Newton has been since his return to Carolina with the team coming off a bye. Atlanta is a week removed from a thorough beat down at the hands of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, but it won’t surprise you to learn that they have a good record on the road (4-2). It’s just another weird thing about the Falcons. This might be my pro Cam bias, but, like James Taylor, I have Carolina in my mind. Panthers 27, Falcons 17

DALLAS COWBOYS AT WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM (+4, O/U: 48)

The head coach that Jerry Jones should have hired to lead the Cowboys currently stands on the Washington sideline and has his team on a four game wins streak — Ron Rivera. This week, Mike McCarthy, back from the NFL’s COVID-19 protocol, has publicly guaranteed his team will win Sunday. I think we all know what we must do. WFT 24, Cowboys 23

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS AT HOUSTON TEXANS (+9, O/U: 41)

The Seahawks can’t save their season by winning out, but they can avoid their first losing campaign since 2011. No one expects Houston to put up much of a fight, but maybe Seattle can kick the tires on Deshaun Watson while they’re in the Lone Star State as they might need to replace a Pro Bowl QB of their own next season. Seahawks 33, Texans 16

DETROIT LIONS AT DENVER BRONCOS (-10, O/U: 42)

Now that Detroit has its victory, the worst thing they can do is win again. With the Texans and Jaguars both sitting at just two victories, the Lions would immediately drop to the No. 3 pick in next April’s NFL draft with a “W.” That would be nothing short of a disaster. Plus, at home against this team, Denver would be rightly shamed if they lose this game. All of this is to say, my pick makes me nervous with all the calamitous things that could happen here. Broncos 23, Lions 10

NEW YORK GIANTS AT LOS ANGELES CHARGERS (-10, O/U: 42.5)

I read a horrible rumor recently that Joe Judge’s job is safe in New York. Now, I’m not an NFL franchise owner and the closest I’ve come is multiple campaigns across Madden in the last decade or so, but it seems the point of owning a team is to win. And Judge has not done anything at all to show he’s capable of delivering that. Just look at the change the Chargers made by bringing in Brandon Staley. With so many solid candidates coming available this offseason for head coaching jobs, there’s just no excuse to keep Judge employed. LA can do a lot to help by embarrassing the Giants Sunday. Chargers 44, Giants 17

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS AT CINCINNATI BENGALS (+1.5, O/U: 48.5)

The Bengals are kind of a mystery to me right now. They’ve answered the bell at times, knocking off the Steelers twice, the Ravens and the Raiders, then got completely hosed by the Chargers last week. San Francisco is less of a mystery as they always lose to Russell Wilson and the Seahawks at Luman Field. They’ve literally not won there in a decade. But they make me nervous. There are calls again to bench Jimmy Garoppolo. I’m rolling with Cincy here, but have no metric to back it. Bengals 23, 49ers 20

BUFFALO BILLS AT TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (-3.5, O/U: 53.5)

Buffalo had the chance to retake the lead in the AFC East against a rookie quarterback on their own home field last Monday night and blew it in the most embarrassing way possible. The defense can claim they played well all they want, but a team that throws the ball three times and completes two passes shouldn’t score a point against a legit NFL defense. The Bills came into the season thinking they could catch the Chiefs and get over the hump for a Super Bowl berth. Now, I’m not sure they’ll make the playoffs. I’ll be shocked if this game is especially competitive. Buccaneers 41, Bills 16

Last week

Straight up: 10-4

Against the spread: 11-3

Season

Straight up: 116-77-1

Against the spread: 99-95

Follow Adam Greene on Twitter @TheFirstMan.

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