FRIDAY AFTERNOON QUARTERBACK: NFL WEEK 5

BY ADAM GREENE

Our first NFL week with byes started with a surprisingly good game on Thursday Night Football. The Chicago Bears blew out the Washington Commanders, 40-20, in a game that always felt closer than it was. Chicago led 27-3 at the half and, I guarantee you, no one on their sideline or fanbase felt safe.

Still, they hung on to win. Justin Fields had a spectacular game, going 15 of 29 for 282 yards and four touchdowns, but had two touchdown passes dropped. He added 57 yards on the ground. Could this mark a turnaround for the Bears? Honestly, you hope so.

We have four teams on a bye this week, but still have a solid slate of Sunday afternoon games. We might as well make some picks.

Byes: Cleveland Browns, Los Angeles Chargers, Seattle Seahawks, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS AT BUFFALO BILLS (-5.5, O/U: 48.5)

It’s another early morning game for the Jags on the other side of the pond, this time minus, Woody, Buzz Lightyear and all the other nicknames you’ve given the items in your wife’s bedside nightstand. Apparently, this is a Bills home game, which is insane considering their fanbase and how they attend games. On the bright side, the governor of New York has opened up booze sales as early as 8 am in the state because of this game’s kickoff time. So, yeah, no table in the upper part of the state is safe. Bills 34, Jaguars 24

HOUSTON TEXANS AT ATLANTA FALCONS (-1.5, O/U: 41.5)

The Texans and the emergence of CJ Stroud, who has yet to throw an interception, have been a nice surprise this early in the season. This is exactly the type of game Arthur Smith, who is in this third year, should be able to make a statement and win. Which is why he won’t do it (though I do think Stoud’s interception-less streak has to come to an end at some point). This could also be Desmond Ridder’s last stand as an NFL starting quarterback. Texans 20, Falcons 17

CAROLINA PANTHERS AT DETROIT LIONS (-10, O/U: 44)

The Lions have entered that smug “we can beat anybody” phase of their season. I don’t think the Panthers, who would be angling for the top pick in next April’s NFL Draft if they hadn’t already traded it away to the Bears, will do anything to make that feeling go away. Lions 34, Panthers 16

TENNESSEE TITANS AT INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (+2.5, O/U: 43)

The Titans looked like a juggernaut last week and one that should certainly be able to handle a Colts team led by a rookie quarterback still learning the NFL position (since he was apparently taught nothing from Billy Napier at Florida in college). So, that’s pretty much exactly why Ryan Tannehill will completely fold to the turf away from Nashville. Will Levis waits in the wings, his banjo entry song softly being played by the kid on the porch in Deliverance. Colts 23, Titans 20

NEW YORK GIANTS AT MIAMI DOLPHINS (-12, O/U: 47.5)

You know, I’m sure Mike McDaniel took some pleasure in putting 70 on the Denver Broncos, a team that spurned him on his first head coaching search. None of us are questioning that Miami could probably score 100 on the Giants in this one, but I’m thinking McDaniel might like Brian Daboll a little more than Sean Payton. At least, for New York’s sake, with the Dolphins coming off a loss, I hope so. Dolphins 36, Giants 19

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS AT NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (pk, O/U: 39.5)

Can Dennis Allen, an injured Derek Carr and the Saints be the team that finally puts us all of us out of the New England misery? I don’t have a lot of hope, though Bill Belichick’s sons running the defense, Stunch and Plunt (or whatever their names are) could offer a nice assist to that. I’d love to believe this is where we officially start carving the gravestone, but not when New Orleans and Allen are involved. Patriots 20, Saints 17

BALTIMORE RAVENS AT PITTSBURGH STEELERS (+4.5, O/U: 38)

Oh, Canada. Specifically Matt Canada. Fun fact: Matt Canada has not coached a 400-yard offensive game in his entire tenure as Pittsburgh’s offensive coordinator. Last night was the Bears’ second consecutive 400-plus yard game this season and they were widely considered the worst team in the league heading into Thursday Night Football. This is usually the point where Mike Tomlin circles the wagons and finds a way to pull a win out of nowhere. For the Steelers’ future sake, let’s hope he doesn’t. He’s apparently going to need an emphatic convincing to do what the Quebecois separatists continually try to do, part ways with Canada. Ravens 27, Steelers 16

CINCINNATI BENGALS AT ARIZONA CARDINALS (+3, O/U: 45)

It’s the injured Joe Burrow vs Joshua Dobbs quarterback duel we’ve all had circled on our calendar since August. The Cardinals’ front office entered the season trying to tank for Caleb Williams but, for whatever reason, can’t seem to get their coaching staff and players on board. Cincinnati had plans to possibly go to the Super Bowl and I guess they still could. As soon as tickets go on sale. Cardinals 23, Bengals 20

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES AT LOS ANGELES RAMS (+4, O/U: 50)

There’s a chance we’ll finally get to see what the Rams offense looks like with both a healthy Cooper Kupp and rookie phenom Puca Nakua on the same field. They just have to do it against the Philly defense, one of the best in the league. Oof. Eagles 24, Rams 23

NEW YORK JETS AT DENVER BRONCOS (-2.5, O/U: 43.5)

Back in the preseason this looked like a must watch game thanks to Sean Payton’s comments about the horrid job New York offensive coordinator Nathaniel Hackett did as head coach of the Broncos the year before. Then, Aaron Rodgers, a 9/11 truther, got hurt on 9/11 and Denver gave up 1,000 points over the season’s first four games. I feel like the bloom is off the rose, here. Broncos 27, Jets 20

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS AT MINNESOTA VIKINGS (+3.5, O/U: 52.5)

We wrap up the week’s pick with the game that will drive your annoying uncle crazy. Yes, we’re probably seeing Taylor Swift at some point in this game and Uncle Chuck is just going to have to deal with it like he did when Gisele landed on camera when Tom Brady played or Angie Harmon did back when Jason Sehorn was a cornerback for the Giants. I do think the NFL will chill a bit as Travis Kelce pretty much asked them to do in his and Jason’s recent podcast. As it is, the Chiefs have been playing with fire over their recent games and I’ve got a feeling they might get burnt by a Minnesota team plenty of people have counted out. Oh, and it’s a Netflix’s Quarterback reunion too! Vikings 38, Chiefs 35

Last week

Straight up: 11-5

Against the spread: 9-7

Season

Straight up: 43-21

Against the spread: 36-28

Follow Adam Greene on Twitter @TheFirstMan.

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