CRAZY NFL PARLAY: WEEK 16

BY ADAM GREENE

After being forced to mix and match moneylines and over-unders again, I still managed to bat over .500 last week in the Crazy Parlay. Bbut going 5-4 isn’t nearly good enough. Not when I was a game away from an $11,000 payout in Week 3.

I hit 8 out of 10 in Week 10. Got close in Week 13 too, but the last two weeks, after flirting with monster payouts all season, have been frustrating.

This is no time to weaken our resolve. It’s time to double down. Not literally. We’re still only risking $10, the cost of a trip to Starbucks, but double down with our hearts. We’re manifesting here. At least I think we are. I watched a TikTok about it. I may not have understood everything the girl was saying.  

If this is your first foray into the Crazy Parlay waters, here’s how it works. I scour the odds, lines and totals to hand select a group of games to pile together in order to deliver the maximum payoff. And this isn’t chance. I’m not throwing a dart blindfolded here trying not to put out my date’s eye.

Oh no. I am harnessing entropy and using it to bring fabulous cash and prizes into our lives. We are turning the NFL’s mantra of “Any Given Sunday” into scripture. We are making chaos and disorder our wingmen.

Plenty of you use the Crazy Parlay as way to craft your own, less lucrative payouts and I get it. But, just take a gander at what I’ve put together for you and all you’d be risking is the price of a fancy scented candle from Target.

Here’s what I’ve selected for you this week:

Browns at Packers over 45.5 (-110(

Colts (-105)

Colts at Cardinals over 49 (-110)

Buccaneers at Panthers over 42.5 (-110)

Giants at Eagles under 40.5 (-110)

Chargers at Texans over 46 (-110)

Lions (+195)

Ravens (+145)

Jaguars (-105)

Bills (+112)

If you’ve already checked out this week’s Friday Afternoon Quarterback, then you know all these over-unders fit right in with my final score predictions. I picked the Buffalo Bills to get revenge on the New England Patriots and, in the Christmas Day games, picked the Indianapolis Colts to “upset” the Arizona Cardinals at home and surpass that over. And while I don’t think the Cleveland Browns can do the same against the Green Bay Packers, I do think they’ll combine to score more than 46 points.

That just leaves three games for us to talk ourselves into, so let’s get to it.

While the Detroit Lions should be overmatched at the Atlanta Falcons, they could be on a roll. And you can never discount the Falcons’ overwhelming urge to lose every time they take the field.

Interim head coaches always win at least one game and Darrell Bevell has his Jacksonville Jaguars going up against the New York Jets, who could be without their head coach Robert Saleh on the Covid reserve list.

And lastly, while Tyler Huntley is starting for the Baltimore Ravens, if you can’t see the Cincinnati Bengals blowing the chance at winning the AFC North and hosting their first playoff game six years, then you obviously don’t know any Bengals fans. Because they can explain how it will happen to you in detail.

A $10 parlay bet win on these moneylines and over-unders pays $14,797.77.

Follow Adam Greene on Twitter @TheFirstMan.

The NFL season is rolling along and the Week 16 Schedule is up and taking bets at BetOnline.AG.

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