CRAZY NFL PARLAY: WEEK 5

BY ADAM GREENE

After being just a single game away from striking it rich in Week 3, the Crazy NFL Parlay went just 2-6 in Week 4. We can’t let that get us down. We know the odds are stacked against us when we pick these. Frankly, it’s what makes them fun and the potential payoffs so huge.

If this is your first Crazy NFL Parlay, let me explain what we do here. We don’t just toss darts at moneylines with no strategy. Oh no. We’re trying to hit it. What I am attempting to craft here is a selection of eight plus lines, whether they’re spreads, moneylines or over-unders, that could actually land you a new Bass Boat. I am purposefully harnessing the chaotic nature of the NFL, the mantra of “Any Given Sunday” and just gut feelings like a basic white girl looking at her astrology chart, in order to fill a Scrooge McDuck-ian money bin. I want you to put on your old-timey bathing suit and dive in it with me.

I know some of you use this article to craft your own, less insane parlays, and I feel you. I appreciate it. But, just look at what I have concocted and think of how hard you’ll kick your own ass if it hits and you’re just watching it happen like the shocked Pikachu meme.

Here’s what I picked out for you this week:

Jets +125

Eagles +140

Washington Football Team +122

Bengals +126

Browns +115

Giants +265

49ers +185

Bills +127

If you’ve already perused this week’s Friday Afternoon Quarterback (and if you haven’t, go ahead. We’re in no hurry), then you already know I like the WFT to “upset” the visiting New Orleans Saints.

It’s the rest of these games we need to talk ourselves into and, frankly, it’s not that hard.

The New York Jets are playing the Atlanta Falcons, who have turned losing into an artform. This game is a 9:30 EST kick in London. Calvin Ridley’s not playing. Put all that together and you have a recipe for a second straight Jets win.

The Philadelphia Eagles can score points and Christian McCaffrey, even if he plays, still isn’t 100 percent for the Carolina Panthers. He was out last week and the Panthers lost. That’s probably not a coincidence.

Joe Burrow was the top rated QB in the league in Week 4 for the Cincinnati Bengals and the Green Bay Packers, as good as they look now, are still the team that soiled the sheets against New Orleans in Week 1.

The Cleveland Browns have the exact kind of defense, with two elite edge rushers, that could seriously disrupt what the Los Angeles Chargers do on offense. As good as Justin Herbert’s looked, he’s still just a second year guy.

Daniel Jones is having an elite, Top 10 QB year for the New York Giants and the Dallas Cowboys are still coached by Mike McCarthy. Anything could happen.

The San Francisco 49ers have a nice little ownage streak over the Arizona Cardinals, winning three of their last four regardless of who they were starting at QB.

And if you can’t see a world where the Buffalo Bills, averaging nearly 40 points a game over their last three, knock off the Kansas City Chiefs who give up over 30 points a game on defense, you have not watched much football in your life.

A $10 parley bet win on these moneylines pays $13,744.89.

The NFL season is underway and the Week 5 Schedule is up and taking bets at BetOnline.AG.

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