YES, THERE ARE TAYLOR SWIFT SUPER BOWL LVIII PROP BETS

BY ADAM GREENE

Oh, your uncle you always dread seeing on Thanksgiving is going to be furious.

Yes, there are official Taylor Swift Super Bowl LVIII Prop Bets for you to make some cash on while the Dads, Brads and Chads rend their garments in anger at the four whole seconds the most famous pop star in the world graces their televisions broadcast.

A moment of silence for those brave, masculine warriors who will barely be able to keep their buffalo wings and spinach dip down when cursed with the visage of one of the most talented and beautiful women in the world. Stay strong, alphas.

For those of us who aren’t troubled by 3.89 seconds of Taylor Swift appearing on our screens, there are so many prop bets available and we’re going to go through some of the best. There are FAR TOO many to pick all of them.

Will AA Flight 1989 or AA Flight 87 be delayed?

Yes -160

No +120

Alright, here’s our first good plus money of the group and it’s our first bet. American Airlines named these two flights, from Kansas City to Las Vegas, after one of Swift’s albums and Travis Kelce’s jersey number.  With all the attention, and certainly with all the tickets for both those flights already purchased the day they went on sale, I foresee no hiccups here at all. Especially after the air travel taking some “bad press” recently, they’re going to want to nail this whole trip and both flights without incident.

Will Swift mention Chiefs/Kelce at Tokyo Show?

No -250

Yes +170

You mean “Karma? The guy on the Chiefs?” How is “No” the favorite here? On the last day, when she’s high-tailing it out of there on a flight so important that the Embassy of Japan has assured her fanbase that she can make it to Vegas in time? Yeah. She’s gonna mention it.

Will Donald Trump mention Taylor Swift on Truth Social on Feb. 11?

No -500

Yes +300

One day, in some far-flung future, historians will look back at this era and wonder how our society was this stupid? Just dirt eating dumb. It’s no secret that much of the Anti-Swiftie-Kelce sentiment is coming from people that are already wearing ankle monitors pending trial for storming the US Capitol on Jan. 6, 2020 or prepping to re-storm the US Capitol this coming January. Donald Trump, all 6-3, 215 pounds of him, is apparently super jealous that Swift is so beloved by her fanbase. Of course, MAGA has responded with multiple conspiracy theories so insane that I’m shocked Aaron Rodgers hasn’t brought them up on The Pat McAfee Show. It’s everything from her being a CIA Psy-Op to Swift, a self-made billionaire, dating Kelcie just to collect his $70,000 playoff check. I’m pretty sure she makes about $70 grand a minute. To those future cultural anthropologists studying the early 2000s, let me just say, our culture is exactly the laughably ridiculous dumpster fire you think it is.

Anyway, unless Swift or Kelcie bring up Trump in some postgame interview, and they won’t, Orange Jesus will keep his puckered, make-up covered mouth hole shut.

First person shown next to Taylor Swift at Super Bowl LVIII?

Britanny Mahomes +100

Donna Kelce +250

Jason Kelce +500

Scott Swift +700

Andrea Finlay +800

Abigail Anderson Berard +900

Cara Delevigne +900

Ed Kelce +900

Gigi Hadid +1000

Mike Tyson +3300

First off? Mike Tyson? I didn’t realize he was in the squad. Will the tiger be there?

I have to admit as new member of Swiftie Nation, I have no clue who a few of these people are. Abigail Anderson Berard sounds like the young widow on an episode of Castle that convinced her pool boy to murder her husband. I’m going to go with the odds here and say Brittany Mahomes. She and Taylor have a similar rooting interest in the outcome and performances of the game. Their guys are besties in real life and on the field. Also, Brittany doesn’t seem too shy around a camera.

Taylor Swift Primary color of top at Super Bowl LVIII?

Red +500

White +400

Black +550

Yellow +850

Purple +1600

Silver/Grey +1800

Blue +2000

Green +2000

Ok, I’m not sure why “Red” isn’t on minus money here, because this is as easy a bet as you will place on Super Bowl Sunday. “Red” is the name of one of her albums, she’s made the “red lip” iconic, I have been told by my Swiftie friends (you can bet on that lip color for -1500 odds) and it also happens to be the primary color of the Chiefs, who are led by a head coach nicknamed “Big Red.” Hey, is this how all those Swfitie “hidden messages” rabbit holes start?

Ultimately, what’s been clear to me since Tayvis made the hard launch is that she is leaning into just being a regular girlfriend. This is probably the most normal relationship she’s had in her life, so of course she’s going to show up to the “Big Game” wearing his gear. It’s what any high school girlfriend would do.

Will Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce be shown kissing on Feb. 11?

Yes -180

No +140

This bet is all about the Chiefs winning. If Kansas City hoists its third Super Bowl trophy in five years, Taylor will be on the field to celebrate and you better believe that kiss is getting sent out across the globe via satellites orbiting 1,243 miles above the surface of the Earth. Frankly, if they didn’t’ show it, there would be a national Swiftie revolt. If you think Cowboys fans do damage to their televisions with that team loses, let CBS skip the Tayvis smooch after the confetti falls.

Also, you can go ahead and put that Yes -120 bet on Donna Kelce and Taylor hugging during the CBS broadcast too. That’ll pay win or lose.

Total number of jewelry pieces Taylor Swift Wears to the game?

Under 5 Chiefs/Kelce Pieces -150

Over 5 Chiefs/Kelce Pieces +110

It feels like we had friendship bracelet, ring and necklace at the AFC Championship and if there’s one thing you must know, as a sports fan, is that you don’t switch up the mojo when it’s working. Under 5 is the bet.

And finally, the bet your uncle has been dreading this whole time….

How long will Taylor Swift be shown live?

Under 28.5 seconds -130

Over 28.5 seconds -110

First off, to the utter shock and dismay of your uncle, Swift isn’t shown all that much during any Chiefs game. In the AFC Championship, it was all of 24 seconds in a three and a half hour broadcast. Her record so far has been 76 seconds in the Wild Card victory over the Miami Dolphins, which your uncle should know, was a KC walk and a game where the broadcasters were just looking for content outside of Miami’s utter ineptitude.

This is the Super Bowl, though. And I’m feeling pretty good about the Chiefs. So, I say go with the Over.

There’s tons more, everything from who Travis’ best man will be (Jason Kelce) to if they’ll announce a pregnancy at the Super Bowl (that’s a “no.”). Will Taylor Swift be seen crying if the Chiefs lose? Uh, yes (+600, and I will be devastated to see it). Will Taylor Swift be seen mouthing a curse word? I’m going No (-500), but that one probably has a lot to do with how well the Chiefs perform. Also, there’s no way Travis will propose after the Super Bowl. Like every other member of Tayvis, I too expect they will be sitting in a tree with the ensuing marriage and baby carriage on the way, but not just yet. They’ve not even been together for a year. She’s probably only written four songs about him at this point. It’s not time.

Will Taylor Swift be shown eating a hot dog? No (-500), and frankly, no one wants to see that or be the victim of that. Relax, CBS.

Will Taylor Swift be shown live after Chiefs first TD? Do you think Travis is scoring it? It’s a safe bet, so it’s just as safe that Tay Tay ends up displayed as well (Yes -400).

Will Travis do the “heart hands” gesture and point to Taylor (+900)? The heart wants what it wants, so please. Also, she’ll definitely be shown at least once in the first quarter (Yes -400) so that’s a money printer right there, even at those odds.

Lastly, your uncle can at least relax about this, I’m relatively sure Taylor will not take the mic on stage during a potential Chiefs Super Bowl victory celebration, nor do I think that she and Travis will announce their support for Joe Biden after a win.

Follow Adam Greene on Twitter @TheFirstMan and Threads at @Adam.Greene

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