2026 Props Madness: Babies, Breakups, Bitcoin & Beyoncé
Summary
Numerous speculative predictions for 2026 are presented, focusing heavily on celebrity gossip. Odds are given for events like Zendaya getting pregnant or splits between famous couples including Clooney and Amal, Pitt and De Ramon, and Swift and Kelce.
In finance, Bitcoin is given 170 odds to reach a record high in 2026, reflecting a cautious outlook after a weak 2025. The tone throughout is playful and satirical, treating these forecasts as entertainment for betting rather than serious projections.
It will come as no surprise to learn that we have an absolutely monumental amount of props on what will, or indeed will not, happen in 2026. So let’s delve in… no, no — after you, darlings.
Celebrity Life Events (a.k.a. The Gossip Economy)
The omnipresent Zendaya is just 150 (3/2) to get pregnant in 2026 (&, incidentally, 500s to be the main Bond Girl in the next James Bond film, which is, we are reliably informed, scheduled to be released shortly after 2034).
On the other end of the “my care factor is ZERO” spectrum:
- George Clooney & Amal to split — 200 Can’t see it happening, but the smug-tastic couple would set gossip columnists ablaze for sure.
- Brad Pitt & Ines De Ramon to split — 100 Yeah, me neither. Pitt does seem to have an enviable (and understandable) revolving door mentality when it comes to relationships, so this might actually be worth a nibble. Plus, she’s nearly 34, and he’s only 62, so surely it’s time for a younger model for the Pittster (as he’s never been called, ever).
- Beyoncé & Jay-Z to split — 250 Hhmm, it’s tricky (to rock a rhyme / to rock a rhyme / that’s right on time / it’s tricky*). I can see it happening, but Jay-Z has wandered from one furry path to another and not only survived but basically granted Bey-Z an entire album. I’d leave them to it.
- Justin Bieber & Hailey to split — 300 The rumors won’t go away, but I think they’ll eke out 2026 just about OK.
- Swift & Kelce to split — 1000 This is The Big One, but given they’re getting married this year, I’d swerve. That said, we also have 24 further markets on this event — including whether Donna Kelce (73) will show cleavage on the Big Day. Shudder.
Crypto Chaos: Bitcoin vs Reality
Now let’s talk numbers that pretend to matter:
- Bitcoin (BTC) to hit a record high in 2026 — 170 Meaning NOT to hit a record high is -250, because crypto kinda limped out of 2025 on a bit of a downer.
- The Burger King to Bitcoin’s McDonald’s is -500 not to have a record high in 2026, which makes the 300 to do so somewhat appealing.
Make of that what you will.
Final Thoughts (and Musical Trivia)
* Give yourself 10 musical points if you can name the group. Sadly, points mean fuck all, so you’re better off having a bet instead — whilst bearing in mind, of course:
To bet around / to bet around / that’s right on dime / it’s tricky.
Good luck.
