CRAZY NFL PARLAY: WEEK 9
Summary
The author presents a high-risk NFL betting parlay designed to turn a small wager into a massive payout. This selection of moneyline picks and point totals is based on a strategic analysis of the week’s games, not random chance. The parlay includes bets on the Bengals, Steelers, Broncos, Bills, Commanders, and Cardinals to win, along with specific over/under predictions for several matchups.
The reasoning behind the picks includes the Bengals winning a high-scoring game, the Steelers pulling off an unexpected victory, and the Bills continuing their regular-season dominance over the Chiefs. The author also highlights Kyler Murray’s undefeated record in the Cowboys’ stadium as a key factor for the Cardinals’ selection. A $10 bet on this nine-part parlay could potentially yield nearly $20,000.
By Adam Greene
All Hallow’s Eve is over. We’ve celebrated the end of harvest and the beginning of winter, but you know what else can make us party? Winning a big pile of money for the cash we’d drop on a meatball pepperoni footlong from Subway.
Yes, it is time, once again to delve into the Crazy NFL Parlay, where I sift through the NFL spreads, lines and totals and craft, especially just for you, the perfect confluence of events that can turn one Alexander Hamilton to enough of them to actually put on the musical with the original Broadway cast.
If this is your first Crazy NFL Parlay, here’s how it works. I don’t just blindly pick plus moneylines in hopes of lightning striking the donkey’s tail. Perrish that thought. Perrish it! No, this is real science, where I harness the universe’s natural entropic state to combine actual possible outcomes in such a way as to maximize our payout to ridiculous results. They say “Anything can happen on any given Sunday,” so let’s make one of those things a big, fat bulge in our bank accounts.
Here’s what I have carefully picked out for you this week;
Bengals +132
Bears at Bengals Over 51 (-110)
Steelers +153
Broncos +108
Jaguars at Raiders Under 44 (-110)
Bills +110
Chiefs at Bills Over 52.5 (-110)
Commanders +140
Cardinals +135
Cardinals at Cowboys Over 53.5 (-110)
If you’ve checked out my Friday Afternoon Quarterback column, then you know I already think that the Cincinnati Bengals and mister Joseph Flacco will outduel the Chicago Bears in a shootout, which also puts us at the Over. I feel like the Pittsburgh Steelers are primed for one of their signature Mike Tomlin stupid wins over a team they have no business beating when they host the Indianapolis Colts.
The Jacksonville Jaguars and Las Vegas Raiders, from where I sit, have no chance to surpass those 44 points. The Raiders might not even hit double digits against the Jags defense. Since it’s the regular season, the Buffalo Bills are the smart bet, at this point, to knock off the Kansas City Chiefs as they have for the last three consecutive regular seasons, especially in Buffalo.
And while I did predict an Arizona Cardinals vs Dallas Cowboys shootout, I did not predict a Cards win. But Kyler Murray has not lost in AT&T Stadium one time while he has walked the Earth. Not in high school, not in college and not in the pros. Arizona has plenty of offensive talent, and just enough on defense, to win a wild one on Monday night.
Outside of that, the books picked up on the Houston Texans early and that they could jump back into the mix, and become a contender again, but the Denver Broncos already are. I’m betting plenty of punditry are picking Denver in this one anyway. Even though I didn’t.
Finally, we have the chance for Jayden Daniels and the Washington Commanders saving their season in what is basically a playoff game to get into the NFC Wild Card conversation against the Seattle Seahawks. Back in August, I would have picked the Commanders here, no question.
A $10 parlay winning bet on these moneylines and totals pays $19,192,97.
Follow Adam Greene on Blue Sky @AdamGreene13, threads @adam.greene and Twitter @TheFirstMan
