FRIDAY AFTERNOON QUARTERBACK: NFL WEEK 6

By Adam Greene

In the history of bad losses there might not be a worse public toe-smashing than the Philadelphia Eagles getting blown out by the formerly hapless New York Giants, 34-17, Thursday night. Giants head coach Brian Daboll was possibly coaching for his job after his team humiliated itself against the New Orleans Saints a week ago, losing by two scores. 

Philadelphia, on the other hand, was at a crossroads. They’d lost their first game in nearly a calendar year with Jalen Hurts starting at quarterback last week to the Broncos. They even had a players-only meeting about the offensive problems between the three best players on their offense, Hurts, Saquon Barkley and the perpetually disgruntled AJ Brown. Was anything solved? Imma say no. 

The fact that this game was over in the third quarter looks like a real issue for the Eagles. How did the NFC East actually get good?

I missed thoroughly Thursday night in my picks after coming off a terrible week with my moneyline picks, but did finally find some magic against the spread. Let’s build on that before I have to call a team meeting with myself.

Byes: Minnesota Vikings, Houston Texans

DENVER BRONCOS AT NEW YORK JETS (+7, O/U: 43.5)

It’s the “Top O’ the Marnin’” game in London at the ridiculously named Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, where we wake up at the crack of dawn, pretend this is why we didn’t go to church and instead watch the Broncos take on the only winless team left in the NFL. Do the Jets have a chance? Sure. Will they win? Honestly, it could happen as their best asset is Sean Payton on the other sideline. Not that Payton is a bad coach, far from it, but after last week’s, let’s call them “monster sack” calls that worked in a win over the Eagles, Payton might be feeling himself too much. His pants might be a tad too tight in the crotch area as his squad takes the pitch in Merry Old England. And if this one is close and Sean gets frustrated, it could lead to some pretty stupid testicular decisions on his part. Still, for New York fans, it’d be a shame to watch your team win its first game in the land of beans for breakfast. Broncos 23, Jets 20

CLEVELAND BROWNS AT PITTSBURGH STEELERS (-5.5, O/U: 38)

Dillon Gabriel pauses his trip with his Hobbit pals to Mordor to make his second start for the Cleveland Browns and it’s not looking good as his backup  quarterback Shadeur Sanders didn’t do his lucky Marcel Marceau impersonation for the media this week. Sure, Sanders is still trapped in a box, but that’s just No. 3 on the depth chart. As for the Steelers, look at you guys. At the beginning of the September we were all sort of resigned to the 9-8 season you were going to put up with an early playoff exit in the Wild Card round, as is your way, and now you’ve got such a commanding lead in the AFC North it would take an outright collapse to screw it up at this point. And Mike Tomlin probably isn’t going to let that happen. Steelers 27, Browns 16 

ARIZONA CARDINALS AT INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (-7.5, O/U: 47)

If you’ve checked out my “Five Questions” article then you know that Jonathan Gannon has rushed to the top of my “first coach fired” standings after he went all pugilistic against Emari Demercado on the sidelines last week. Not that Demercado didn’t deserve to get punched in the gut after dropping the ball in “celebration” before crossing the goal line on what would have been the game-winning touchdown, but that’s not the head coach’s job. Let someone else deliver the knuckle sandwich, and definitely when the cameras are off. If you were putting your MVP favorites list together, you’d have not one, not two, but three reclamation projects on it; Baker Mayfield, Jared Goff and Daniel Jones. Good for Danny Dimes. Real talk, I don’t know if the Cards win another game this season. Colts 34, Cardinals 23

LOS ANGELES RAMS AT BALTIMORE RAVENS (+7.5, O/U: 45)

Rams star edge rusher Jared Verse shared this week his disappointment that Lamar Jackson might not play in their matchup Sunday and while Verse is a star and putting together a Defensive Player of the Year campaign, I will say, “You hush. You hush your beautiful mouth right now, Jared.” This week has stung since LA lost an easily winnable game against the hated San Francisco 49ers and Baltimore is a tough place to play, regardless of who’s suiting up in the backfield. On paper, the Rams should win this one easily, but last week’s paper told us the same thing and Los Angeles missed a field goal, lost two fumbles in the red zone and had an extra point blocked that would have won the game by 18 points in regulation. So paper, you hush too. Rams 27, Ravens 20

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS AT JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (pk, O/U: 47.5)

I’ve bene a firm believer for years that losing to the Seahawks says more about the deficiencies of the team they defeated than the talent and abilities of Seattle, but could that be changing? I’m satisfied that Sam Darnold is a good NFL quarterback now and an upgrade over Geno Smith. Their two losses are by a combined seven points and were to the 49ers and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The NFC West went from a boring two-team missionary finish between the Rams and 49ers to suddenly a very exotic menage a team. Are the Jaguars really good? They look like it, in spite of how much of a goob Liam Coen looked in the his first press conference. Losing a game like this after beating the Kansas City Chiefs in the last seconds a week ago would be such an old Jags move, I’m going to go ahead and pick against it. Don’t make me regret it, Liam. Jaguars 31, Seahawks 30

DALLAS COWBOYS AT CAROLINA PANTHERS (+3, O/U: 49.5)

Of all the surprises of the first quarter of the NFL season, the fact that Brian Schottenheimer appears to be a legitimate NFL coach is easily the most shocking. I’m sure Jerry Jones has watched his handpicked replacement for Mike McCarthy actually appear up to the job engulfed in a cloud of his own old man farts, but I feel this has happened completely by accident. As for the Panthers, did you know they have the same record as the Chiefs? Unreal. Cowboys 27, Panthers 17

LOS ANGELES CHARGERS AT MIAMI DOLPHINS (+4, O/U: 43.5)

Are the Chargers actually disappointing or are they just “Charger-ing?” The loss two weeks ago to the Giants was shocking. Last week, getting hosed down at home by the Washington Commanders, was downright embarrassing. But nothing fixes what ails ya like playing the Dolphins and the desiccated husk of Mike McDaniel.  Chargers 28, Dolphins 20

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS AT NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (+3.5, O/U: 46)

As a Patriots hater it makes me legitimately nauseous to see the Saints, Tennessee Titans and Cleveland Browns as their next three teams on the schedule. By the time New England hosts the Falcons, who might also suck, they should be 6-2 and could even be leading the AFC East by half a game. I hate it here. Patriots 30, Saints 19

TENNESSEE TITANS AT LAS VEGAS RAIDERS (-4, O/U: 42)

Congratulations, Titans. You won your game. You might even win another one before the season is over, but if you roll into Vegas and hand the Raiders their fifth consecutive loss, you might force Tom Brady to eat a Taco Bell chalupa in disgust. And wash it down with a Baja Blast. Nobody wants to see that. Raiders 27, Titans 10

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS AT TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (-3, O/U: 47.5)

You’ve had a whole week and a half to bask in your victory over the Rams last Thursday, Mac Jones and the Niners. I don’t think Baker Mayfield and the Bucs will be as accommodating as their NFC West rivals. Or, at least, the fans in the stands won’t be majority crimson and gold. SoFI? Do better. Bucs 31, 49ers 24

CINCINNATI BENGALS AT GREEN BAY PACKERS (-14, O/U: 44.5)

It’s Joe Flacco time, so here’s the real important question heading into this one. Will Micah Parsons hit double digit sacks in this game? I feel like I speak for all the NFL when I say how bummed we are that Flacco was the trade target instead of Jameis Winston of the Giants. Seeing Jameis throw 40 touchdowns and 45 interceptions in the stripes would have been a real pleasure over these next three months. Packers 43, Bengals 13

SUNDAY NIGHT

DETROIT LIONS AT KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (-2, O/U: 53)

The Lions have been on a tear since laying an ostrich egg in their season opener against the Packers, but here’s the problem; Their signature win, 38-30, over the Ravens seems a lot less impressive now. And when you look at their other three victories, the Bears, the Browns, the Bengals, how good is Detroit? We’ll find out Sunday night and I don’t think the Motor City is going to like the answer. Chiefs 31, Lions 20

MONDAY 

BUFFALO BILLS AT ATLANTA FALCONS (+4.5, O/U: 49.5)

A lot of people complain about these Monday night double headers, but not me. But I don’t have a grown up job, so that could be why. My main problem is the start times being so close. The first game should kick off around 6-ish and game two at 9 like the old MNF start time. In a season that has been pure chaos, and after a week of ridiculous outcomes, nothing has changed for Buffalo. If they don’t go to the Super Bowl this year, it will be an organization-wide failure and they should clean house on the coaching staff. As for the Falcons,  I’m a Rams fan and my team has their first-round pick 2026. They cannot lose enough. Bills 31, Falcons 21

CHICAGO BEARS AT WASHINGTON COMMANDERS (-4.5, O/U: 49.5)

It’s a rematch of last year’s “Hail Mary” game that eventually propelled the Commanders to the NFC Championship and the Bears to loading every coach in the building into the nearest trebuchet. I don’t see anything that dramatic happening in this one, but the result should still be the same. Commanders 30, Bears 23

Last Week

Straight up: 6-8

Against the spread: 8-6

Season

Straight up: 49-28-1

Against the spread: 34-44

Survivor Pool Picks: Broncos (Week 1), Ravens (Week 2), Bucs (Week 3), Bills (Week 4), Rams (Week 5) X, Colts (Week 6)

Follow Adam Greene on Blue Sky @AdamGreene13, threads @adam.greene and Twitter @TheFirstMan